Breathless Secrets

Posted on Mon Feb 18th, 2019 @ 3:33pm by Commander Hades,MD & Lieutenant JG Ilan Rol & Lieutenant Commander Ariana Monroe-Wayne

3,791 words; about a 19 minute read

Mission: Episode 97 - Cultural Exchange
Location: USS Sutherland , Enroute to Cardassia
Timeline: Current Timeline.

ON:

=/\=Sickbay=/\=

Hades sat in his office happy to leave the bay to his second in command of medical. He was starting to like his new Assistant Chief Medical Officer. She was clever and fast on her feet and her surgical skills were beyond reproach.

Hades sighed and he leaned back in his chair. He not only had a medical bay to run he was already preparing for the cultural exchange with Cardassia and he had two, perhaps three patients to worry about that were along for treatment.

He was there again, trying to do all and be all when he had a competent staff to lean on. Hades stood and was about to head to the replicator when his door chimed.

Ariana hadn't seen much of Hades since their brief meeting with Dartt. She was concerned about the fact his request to take Rol to Bajor had been denied. Hearing Hades voice from inside she walked inside the office smiling as she made her way over to Hades. "I thought I'd come and see how you're getting on" She massaged her aching back as she took a seat to give herself a rest. "How's Rol doing?"

Hades smiled, "Always good to see you. I have something that might ease the back pain." He said walking over to a little cabinet. He pulled out a small pillow. "Try that," he said handing her the pillow.

Hades walked over to the replicator and ordered himself a coffee. "Would you like something?"

"Yes please!" She smiled placing the pillow behind her back. "A hot chocolate would go down a treat."

He carried the drinks over to his desk and set one before her and one before himself. He sighed as he sat. "Rol is...alright. He is dealing with a lot."

"May I ask what? I know you're bound by confidentiality just like I am but I am a medical professional just like you." She picked up her drink, blew it and took a sip. She took a few more sips before putting the cup down again and rested her hands on her bump like she always did, absent mindedly running her hand backwards and forwards over her bump in a loving manner.

He studied the woman. "I know that his file is somewhat lacking but there is a story with him, Cardassians, and Terok Nor or as it is now called Deep Space Nine." He sighed. "Do you remember when he was brought in with that anxiety attack?"

"Yes I do. I didn't think about it at first but then I thought maybe it might have something to do with his Bajoran heritage. Please tell me more." She relaxed back in her seat as best as she could.

Hades rubbed his nose. "I do not feel comfortable discussing this but I dug into Rol's record. His full story is not written on his Starfleet profile. Just that he joined the fleet." He sat back. "Let me ask you another question. How much do you know about Vulcan Mind Melds?"

"Enough to know that they can be problematic if not done properly." She looked at Hades curiously. "Has he been the victim of a mind meld? I promise what is said here won't leave this room."

"Not precisely. That's more Braxton's problem." He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose to dispel the tension. "If you remember after the panic attack settled you left to rest. Rol had several more it was a cascade. In between one I asked to do a mind meld because there was no medical way to stop the anxiety. He agreed. In a mind meld all is shared, no secrets remain. It was a last resort and it worked. He has not exactly had the ideal life. His anxiety comes from contradictions." He studied her. "Perhaps I should start at the beginning."

"Please do" Ariana nodded.

"Rol was in the resistance when he was only 11 years old." Hades shook his head. That in itself was just the start. His mother was on Terok Nor." He didn't need to say that she was a comfort woman. It was understood. "His father a resistance fighter." The man had fought many battles.

"I can only imagine how that must have felt, with everything the Bajoran's went through and for an 11 year old to be in the resistance." She shook her head.

Hades sighed, "His father was killed two years after they joined the resistance and to keep his siblings alive he joined the Monastery. Apparently his brothers took to Monastic life. A few years later...he was about 17 as I understand it he was summoned to Terok Nor and there he learned that he had a half sister. His mother put the baby, a half Cardassian child in his care. His brothers, at that point, abandoned him and his younger sister and his half sister. So the responsibility for his two baby sisters was all his." He shook his head. "It was not easy for him."

“Having a half Cardassian Sister at that point in time...I can imagine.” She shook her head. “Plus more or less being thrown into being a parent, it’s a lot to handle.”

"And the fact that his brothers turned their backs on him and he gave up a vocation he loved. His mother died and he was forced to leave Bajor with the girls and his half sister's father a Cardassian who, my understanding is, took them and dumped them on a Federation colony where Rol found his way to Earth and then the rest, as they say is history." He sighed. "There is so much more to this. I just," he shook his head, "Can't put it all into words. I feel he requires someone he can talk to. He will not speak with me...." He said it quickly and glossed over it. "Perhaps you can try."

“That’s why I’m here” Ariana smiled warmly. “I can speak to him on the grounds that concern has been raised but if he doesn’t want to talk to me I can’t force it. I can only hope he’ll be willing to talk about it with me.” She paused for a moment. “I wouldn’t normally suggest this but...would you be willing to share what you learned from Rol via a mind meld with me? You did say there was so much more and the more I know the better I can help.”


He shook his head. "No, the mind link is a very rare and sometimes dangerous process. I only linked with Rol to lower his anxiety and believe me I doubt either of us sees it as a good thing. As am only half Vulcan and as such I could not block off segments of thoughts so I pretty much saw everything in his head and he in mine." He looked a bit uncomfortable.

“So he got to see things you’d rather he didn’t know?” Ariana looked at Hades curiously. “If you ever need a friend to talk to rather than a Counsellor I’m always here you know.”

He smiled. "Trust me Rol is more embarrassed then I." He tilted his head to the side. "May I say something even though I am not a counselor?"

"Of course" Ariana nodded. "You're still a doctor that's close enough to being a Counsellor, you're a therapist just in a different way."

He smiled, "I think Rol is running from himself. I think he has issue with accepting the person he is and his past and present. He feels he's never done enough and while I have no doubt he is an excellent counselor and cares for his patients. He is....doing all he can to avoid looking at himself."

"I can understand that" Ariana nodded. "I spent a while doing the same thing after I lost Jonathon. I purposely tried to hide away from everyone and everything, until I realised that I had to get on with my life. Helping others helps me, perhaps it's the same for Rol."

He smiled, "Perhaps. I sent him to his quarters to rest so he will be there."



=/\= Ilan Rol's Quarters =/\=

Rol turned the page of the book he'd been reading for the last few hours. It had been a page he'd turned several times attempting to engage with the story but failing miserably. He finally shut the book and stood. He needed to keep busy. He needed to keep his mind off of where they were going.

Ariana had left Hades with a promise she'd speak to Rol so without further ado she made her way straight there. Pressing the chime she waited for the invite to enter before walking inside. "Hello Rol." She smiled warmly. "I think it's time we talked."

Rol was caught off guard by the visit. "Of course. I was going to see you tomorrow. I have the crew assessments that I have been working on." He reached for the PADD.

"That's wonderful but that's not why I'm here" Ariana smiled. "I've been speaking with Doctor Hades, he gave me a some idea what it is you're going through. I thought perhaps we could talk about it?"

Rol pressed his lips shut thinning them. "I see." He briefly wondered how much the doctor had said. "What exactly did he say?"

"Let's just say he mentioned about you and your sisters, he's more concerned with the fact that you're struggling to accept the events in your life and therefore struggling to accept the person that you are. I won't make you talk about what you're not happy to talk about but I would like to help you." She walked over to the couch and took a seat.

Rol stayed quiet for a moment and then stood up. "Would you like a drink?" He headed to the replicator. There was no excuse to being a bad host, even though he didn't want to talk. Focusing on her needs was easier.

"Just a juice please" She smiled. "You know...when I lost my husband Jonathon it took me a while to face up to the fact that I had to carry on without him. For a while I just wanted to hide myself away and let the universe carry on without me but I knew that's not what Jonathon wanted." She placed her hand on her stomach. "I have my baby to think about as well as me, life has to go on.

He carried their drinks back to the sofa and handed her the cup, "It is a symptom of grief. The loss of your husband was a great blow. You sank into the depression side of the stages of grief but the fact that you focused on what Jonathon would have wanted and your love for your child pulled you through." He gently touched her hand. "A testament to your courage."

"Perhaps" She nodded. "Courage only gets you so far." Her smile faded a little replaced by a frown as she thought about the baby she lost. She still hadn't really faced up to what happened. "This baby is all I have left of Jonathon now and thankfully I have Marcus now too. I think I must have a soft spot for marines" she grinned as she picked up her glass and took a sip. "Anyway...enough about me I came to talk about you."

"Well it's not all you have left. You have your memories. Everything you and your husband have made together made you into the amazing person you are. Its given you strength." He smiled still trying to deflect.

"Strength enough to get around your avoidance of the real subject....you!" Ariana smiled. "Let's do it this way, you tell me your fears and I'll talk about mine, how's that?" She sipped her drink again before putting down the glass. "Tell me what you're afraid of Rol."

He smiled, "Pretty sneaky. Much like our patients I don't know where to start."

"How's about telling me what scares you? What do you fear about going to Cardassia?" Ariana looked at Rol curiously.

He sighed and leaned back. "I don't know." He shook his head, "I just don't know. I feel like a part of me fears going and never coming back. Part of me fears that I will see my step father again." He shrugged. "Not many know but my mother, before she died, married the man who fathered my sister." He shrugged. "There is shame too."

Ariana nodded. "I can understand that. It's a lot for you to have to face. How will you feel if you do come face to face with your step father?"

"Honestly he was good to my mother. She always said he treated her well and he was prepared to save our entire family...my brothers wouldn't listen but I trusted him. Now my sisters are safe and the grew up in the Federation. He...has kept his distance but every now and then latinum would show up when things were the hardest." He shifted uncomfortably. "That I don't dislike him makes me a collaborator, doesn't it?"

"Not at all" Ariana shook her head. "The fact you don't hate the man who cared for your mother just makes you compassionate. It doesn't make you a collaborator Rol. A lot has changed over the years, situations change."

He smiled a sad sort of smile, "My father died in the resistance. My brothers have already turned their back on me for accepting his help. What does that make me, I ask myself that question everyday."

"It makes you one of the rare compassionate people that saw the Cardassians in a different light. Your step father took care of your mother and saw your sisters safe, that in itself makes him a special man amongst the Cardassians and you a special man for accepting him at such a difficult time." She smiled. "I know many Bajorans can't forgive or forget but you are one of those exceptions and that makes you special."

"The truth is I'm not sure I can forget or forgive ... at least not fully." He shrugged. "Plus I'm still tripping from having Hades in my brain."

"He's finding it equally as difficult so I wouldn't worry in fact I think the two of you should talk. You could be of great comfort to each other." Ariana smiled as she ran her hand across her stomach something she did without thinking about most of the time. "We all need someone Rol and Hades could be a good friend if you allowed him to be."

Rol just about choked on his drink. He coughed several times to get the liquid out of his lungs. "Yeah...I'll keep that in mind. Now how about what happened back on the station with Braxton. Ready to talk about it?" Again he deflected.

"I.. ." Ariana paused now she wanted to deflect. "That I found myself staring into the eyes of man who thought I was his wife back from the dead..." She turned away as her eyes misted over. "The way he looked at me..." She fought back the urge to cry. "What can I say?"

Rol sat by her and put his arm around her. "It's okay. I know how hard this is for you. He'll get over this. Once all this gets sorted, you'll see, he'll be grateful."

"Would you be grateful?!" She looked at Rol. "If you were faced with your dead loved one?" The tears finally got their chance to escape as they rolled down her cheeks. "I don't think I'd be able to face seeing that loved one and losing them all over again!!" She stood for a moment before suddenly collapsing into Rol's arms.

Rol cursed under his breath, "Rol to Medical. Medical emergency my quarters."

Within minutes Hades and a handful of nurses were there. Ariana was loaded onto a gravi stretcher and taken to sickbay.



=/\=Sickbay=/\=


"Barozine. Fifty CCs slow release." Hades barked his orders while the nurses carried them out. It didn't take long for him to determine that it was stress playing havoc on her system. He gave her a mind sedative that was safe for the baby and allowed her to sleep.

For a few hours she slept peacefully and Hades popped in to see how she was progressive finding Rol sitting by the bed. Feeling awkward he rubbed the back of his neck, in a nervous gesture. "She'll be well. She needs rest. I will order reduced duties until the child comes."

Rol gave a nod. "She will not like that."

Hades shrugged, "Nonetheless she will need to follow it. Her health and the baby's is more important."

Rol said nothing.

Hades sighed, "Are we going to speak about what I saw in your mind?"

Rol stiffened as if he'd been shot with electricity. "No."

Hades shook his head, "Why? It is obviously part of what is causing your anxiety and I doubt very much that you told the Counselor."

Rol glared at him, "Well neither did you!"

Hades smiled, "Not my story to tell. I think that you need to talk this part out though. Since you refuse to speak with the counselor about it and I know it is logical to speak with me about it."

Rol huffed, "It means nothing."

Hades shrugged. "If you say so." He checked Ariana's read outs and then left.

Rol let out a breath he'd been holding and sat back down. It beat sitting in his quarters dwelling on what Hades had just pointed out was a large part to his anxiety.

Ariana had started to awaken while Hades and Rol were talking but she hadn't opened her eyes until now. "So...are you going to tell me what's really going on?" She turned her head to look at Rol. "What are you hiding?"

Rol just about jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice. She'd heard them talking. It took him a moment to regain his composure. "I have to work through this myself." He turned away. "I have a lot to think about. I need to go." He stood.

"Rol..." Ariana reached for his hand which was within reach, gently holding it. "Don't be afraid...we're here to help not to judge you." She smiled and let go of his hand. "If you're leaving please send in Doctor Hades I'd like to talk to him."

Rol gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She was fast becoming a friend. He headed out letting a nurse know that Ariana was asking for the doctor.

Hades watched from a corner as Rol left and then headed in. "How are you feeling," he said with a smile that did not quite reach his eyes.

"Like a complete idiot!" She offered a smile. "We Counsellor's make the worst patients. I'm busy telling him not to bottle things and I did just that. Now look at me! I heard what you said about reduced duties, I'll abide by that."

He smiled, "You know I wouldn't suggest that if it wasn't necessary. Doctors are the worst patients. Remind me to tell you the story I knocked a doctor's teeth out for trying to give me a Vaccine I thought I didn't need." He grinned and sat down. "Now what are you bottling up?"

The smile faded from Ariana's face. "It's just...seeing the look on Braxton's face when he saw me as Nicole, it reminded me of everything I've lost. I'd have given anything not to lose my husband but we knew that was coming, but my baby...." Her eyes started misting over. "I lost another part of Jonathon that day, a part I can't get back!!" She pulled a tissue from the box by the bed.

Hades took her hand. "We are never prepared for loss Ariana. Yes you knew your husband would pass but it was shock and your children were something created out of beauty and love but your husband was never fully lost. He is in your memories, heart and thoughts. Being with him has shaped who you are as a person and therefore you can never lose him. His love was an instrument of your growth. Not only that you Betazoids believe that those you love are on another plane, another side. Think of it this way you had two babies. The one you lost is with Jonathan, yes a part of him but also a part of you he is holding on the other side. This baby you are carrying is a part of him and you that you are holding. Forever connected."

Ariana wiped her eyes as she looked at Hades taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, offering Hades a brief smile. "Thank you. I guess I need this break on Cardassia more than I thought."

He smiled, "Cardassia, despite its past, has a great Art and music culture. Did you know they were artists before they were warriors? Trust me take the time to enjoy it. They also have a great counseling department. Maybe you could do an exchange of theories?"

Just before Ariana could say anything a nurse stepped in. "Doctor there is an emergency transmission from the USS Wolf. They said it's confidential and urgent."

Hades inhaled sharply and turned to Ariana. "I have to take this. My cousin is stationed on the Wolf as CMO."

Ariana nodded. "Go and take it I'll be fine" She made herself comfortable and closed her eyes again.

Hades gave a nod and headed out. When he reached his office he closed the door. Assuming it was his cousin Galatea he punched the coms button and started speaking before the image stabilized. "Taya I was thinking about you the other...." He stopped as a Romulan face in a Starfleet uniform appeared. "Commander. I was expecting Doctor Polaris."

The Romulan gave a nod. "There is never an easy way to say this so I will just say it. We had an outbreak of a new form of Velarian flu one that your Cousin created a Vaccine for known as the Polaris Serum. She treated all on board who were infected but...not herself. By the time she finished it was too late. Time of death was 0800 hours two days ago. My condolences."

Hades was glad that he was sitting down for this. It took a moment for him to be able to speak. It was a long conversation and after forty five minutes he shut down the coms. "Hades to Braxton. Come to my office. Now."

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