Passing the time

Posted on Mon Feb 15th, 2021 @ 2:14pm by Lieutenant JG Ilan Rol & Lieutenant Commander Ariana Monroe-Wayne & Lieutenant Commander Carolyn Corrigan MD

1,454 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Episode 109 - The Dust Settles
Location: SS Cercatore di Tesori
Timeline: MD 02

ON:

... imagine heading back into First Federation space again so soon. Not without you anyway. Leaving without you was hard enough. I don't remember much of our journey to get there. I remember being scared, confused, so much pain but most of all I remember you. Never leaving my side, or never far from it. I wish you were here right now. You always knew the right thing -

Hearing a tentative chap on the frame of the open door, Doctor Corrigan set down her pen and closed over the old fashioned diary as she offered Ariana a warm but tired smile. "Hi," she said, dropping the diary into her travel bag. "Everything okay?"

Ariana offered a warm smile. “Everything’s fine, just thought I’d drop by and see how you’re doing. We’re both heading back to a world where a lot happened for us but in your case it wasn’t all good. I just wanted to ... Well to offer a sounding board, or friendly ear if you need one.”

Carolyn sat back in her seat, staring out the view offered by the small viewport. It was quite calming actually. "The last time I was heading into the First Federation, an associate of my grandmother had tried to kill me and Harris and I were on this little shuttlecraft while he tried to keep me alive and sane while also trying to make me believe I was pregnant."

She offered a rueful smile, a hand resting on her baby bump. "Definitely no denying that now..."

She sighed. "I don't know how to feel about going back. We made some great memories and going there saved my life... but he died there. Alone. And that is hard to reconcile.

And then today... today they had to repair a tear in the placenta. The baby was okay but the her blood and mine aren't compatible and it was dangerous. But its fixed and if I rest it will be fine. But, honestly? I have never felt so tired in my life. Even before today. Apparently she is taking after her father. A lot. Which is good. Harris had the best heart, he was a brilliant doctor. Selfless."

Ariana nodded. “I didn’t know him all that well but he loved you and I understand what it’s like to lose a husband and love of your life. It’ll get easier in time but you’ll never forget him, you’ll treasure his memory even more.” She smiled warmly. “Last time we were here you brought me back from being totally exhumed by craziness, by a second personality that’s now a part of me in a new and better way.”

She walked over to the window and looked out. “I still haven’t figured out how to incorporate that half of me. It’s there but ...” She shook her head. “I think in a way I’m afraid to let myself truly blend, I’m not sure if I would truly be me anymore.”

“I don’t think you’d lose who you are but have you spoken to Rol?” Carolyn suggested. “It might help?”

Ariana turned and looked at her friend. “I think that’s a very good idea. Just because I’m a Counsellor it doesn’t mean I don’t need Counselling. Truth be told I should have spoken to him before.”

“He’s been hovering so I imagine he hasn’t gone far,” Carolyn told her. “Now might be as good a time as any?”

“I suppose” Ariana nodded. “So why do I feel like I don’t want to do this? That’s not me, I’m not afraid of talking to a Counsellor” She paused. “Unless ... it’s the other part of me that’s unwilling.” She shook her head. “I sound completely crazy!”

“You sound like the rest of the crew actually,” Carolyn teased.

Ariana grinned. “Yeah I guess I do” She looked towards the door as she saw Rol go by the open doorway. “Rol ...” she walked across to the doorway. “Rol?”

Rol did a double take at the call of his name. He turned and walked over to where Arianna and Carolyn were sitting. "Hello Ladies." He sat down.

“I can take a walk if you would like some privacy?” Carolyn offered.

“No it’s okay” Ariana offered Carolyn a smile. “I don’t mind you being here.” She turned her attention to Rol. “Long story very short, my mother was part of an experiment by section 31. It didn’t work for her but I inherited the ramifications.” She paused to let Rol digest.

"Wow." He said.

“In a nutshell it was to create a hidden personality, a Telepathic super soldier. The experiment was shut down when they couldn’t switch their soldiers off, my alternate personality came to life a while ago. Hades and the First Federation brought me back.” Ariana frowned. “The only problem is there’s still two of me sharing my mind, I’m afraid to let myself fully blend.” She looked at Rol hoping he’d have some advice for her.

"Ah...I see." He took some time to think. "Well I would say that everyone is a blend of dark and light." He looked at Carolyn "Except Harris... I mean seriously. Although his persistence would count." He turned back to Ariana. "What scares about the blend?"

Carolyn stuck her tongue out at Rol but said nothing. He wasn’t lying. Besides, the point was to help Ariana.

Ariana grinned at Carolyn”s tongue poking exercise before looking back at Rol. “I’m just ... being silly I think. I’m afraid I won’t be me anymore, the other side of me is more ...” She shrugged her shoulders. “Hard, less worried what others think.”

"That's not a bad thing. Did you ever read the biography of Doctor McCoy?"

Ariana shook her head. “No, but I take it that it has a bearing somehow?”

"It does. When Captain Kirk was split into two a good one and an evil one he and then Commander Spock learned that a man or woman is made up of both dark and light and it's about blending the two.

Ariana nodded. “I should know all this, but it’s all so different when it’s yourself that’s struggling.” She looked at Rol. “I’m scared Rol.”

"As was Captain Kirk. It's always frightening to confront the dark side of ourselves." He paused looking at both Carolyn and Ariana. "There is someone you can talk to about that. Someone with first hand experience."

Ariana looked at Rol curiously. “Oh? Whose that?”

"Hades. He's the master at working both sides." Rol sighed. "I know it's scary now but you are one of the strongest people I know so I know that you can get through this."

Ariana nodded and smiled. “Thank you Rol. I should have talked to you before, and I will talk to Hades when I get chance. Right now ...” she pushed her chair back. “It’s time I stopped being afraid of myself and learned who I am. If I’m needed I’ll be in my quarters.”

Rol smiled. "Make sure you rest!"

Ariana nodded. “I will, that’s a promise.”

Watching her go, Carolyn glanced at Rol. “Nicely done,” she complimented him.

"Yes well...what I have to say next to you might have you shoving me through an airlock."

Carolyn rolled her eyes, "airlocks are a Hades speciality, not mine. And I'm hardly able to push anyone anywhere, unless I accidentally bump you into one. So just tell me... what have I done now?"

"You...nothing." He pulled out a data PaDD. "This is for you."

Carolyn took the PADD, clearly confused. “And this is?”

"A...letter...from Harris. Another video. It would have been his birthday yesterday. I was to put this in your office on his birthday but...well" He put his hand on hers. "You don't have to watch that."

Carolyn studied the PaDD. "I guess I know what he was doing all those hours when I was getting my head examined," she said softly. "But if he took the time to do all of this, the least I can do is watch, right?"

He smiled. "Want me to stay"

She opened her mouth to say no but stopped herself. “Actually yes,” she admitted. “If that’s okay..?”

He gave a nod. "Always." He looked at the data PaDD. "That's odd."

“What’s odd?”

"It's not a regular PaDD."

“What do you mean?”

"It...." He pressed a button and there was a brief light and then a holo of Harris appeared...

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