Healing

Posted on Mon Mar 30th, 2020 @ 3:00pm by Lieutenant Commander Carolyn Corrigan MD & Commander Hades,MD

4,046 words; about a 20 minute read

Mission: Episode 106 – Stalemate
Location: USS Mercy
Timeline: MD2, 1300 hours

After the cacophony of noise subsided, from a xylophone to pots and pans ‘acquired’ from the one cupboard their tiny hands were allowed to enter, there was a sudden and somewhat blissful silence until the image seemed to shake. The reason was no earthquake but rather a toddler complete with big baby blue eyes, a mass of blonde curls and dimples as he planted a big kiss on the screen.

“Happy birthday CC!” Tiny voices choruses before the camera shifted, cuteness replaced by the image of her sister and brother.

“I know, a day early,” Sean spoke up, “but it takes a lot to organise an incredible birthday band. The demands they make are unreal! Fortunately chocolate milk is like latinum to them so we are good until nap time. And, personally, I think they made better use out of those pots and pans than our dear sister. Her cooking will improve without them - ow!”

Jayne rolled her eyes, “never mind that... I hope this gets to you okay. I know things out there must be insane so please please keep safe. Ella, no! Put that down! Patrick! Can you... okay... where was I? Yes, please, be safe. I was hoping you may have some leave coming up? I’m going back to Dublin for the festival and so is Sean -“

“Yep,” he confirmed with a nod.

“So if you can, come. I promise, it’ll be grand,” Jayne enthused. “Anyway, your birthday band are ready to go so have an amazing day and I miss you!” She had to shout to be heard over the racket the ‘musicians’ were making. The camera panned back to them and Carolyn grinned. They were growing up quickly, their little personalities beginning to show. Although her nephew clearly did not like to share, her brother in law stepping in before a riot broke out over a spoon.

Pausing the message as a loud crash and shouting from outside caught her attention. Hurrying from the office she registered several things at once. Firstly, they had two new patients brought in (it appears) by two security officers who had taken up station at the door. The second was that both patients seemed to have acquired multiple cuts and bruises. She had seen enough fights to know the two had been in a brawl. And thirdly, their fight was kicking off again.

Both of them came at each other before the guards could get between them. Ensign Kellas, however, physically hauled them off one another with brute strength she thought Kaden Ross might be proud off. Which was a good way to break up a fight, in theory. The reality was that it sent the attacker stumbling back, off balance before he caught the edge of a biobed.

Before she could move he had fallen into her, both of them hitting the deck with an almighty thud. He was gone in an instant, dragged away by security.

Winded, she moved to sit up, gasping as pain shot up her side. Kellas appeared beside her, “I’m sorry, I didn’t...”

“It’s okay,” she breathed. “Just... help me up and into my office. And find Dr Hades for me... no! Dr Kelley,”. She had meant to ask for Kelley. Had no idea why she said Hades. Habit, expecting him to have her back.

Their time in Ariana’s office had been weeks ago and since then? They were professional, polite but never like it once was. It was true what they said, the truth hurts. And every transfer request she had submitted had come back with the same damned response.

Declined.

The few times Kalani had reached out, she had been tempted to speak to her but always thought better of it. She was Hades safety net, his confident and his rock. It wasn’t fair to put her in the middle of the mess that had been created.

Alone in her office she opened up her own medical kit, taking initial scans. When the doors opened she half turned, wincing at the pain. “Dr Kelley...”

“I heard, come on, with me,” the woman ordered. She ushered Carolyn into her consulting room, initiating scans. “These will take a few minutes to complete but so far, so good. I’ll be right back...”

A million fears came to mind, as she lay there, staring up at the ceiling. She wished she had the device Adari gave to them, to be able to see their baby was very much alive, kicking and unharmed. She wasn’t even born yet and already she wasn’t able to keep her safe.

And that was where Hades found her, in a room, holding the pendant from Harris tightly between her fingers trying not to let fears overcome the rational part of her brain...

Hades had made it down to sickbay in record time. He stood at the door and tempered down his fear for her and for his grandchild. "What happened?" He knew, of course, but he asked it anyway as he picked up a tricorder. "Where the hell is Kelley?"

“Two patients decided to continue a fight, I didn’t move out of the way fast enough,” she said as she stared up at the ceiling. “She will be back in a minute. You didn’t need to come down.”

"The hell I didn't!" He paced. Then he stopped. "Stay here!" He turned and walked out.

She stared after him, “your grandfather likes to shout,” she sighed.

Heading back towards the room, Dr Kelley’s eyes widened a little at the sight of Dr Hades heading straight for her. Clearing her throat she stood tall as she adjusted her hold on the treatment tray. “Dr Hades. Good to see you.”

"Where were you?"

“Oh, well, I went to get equipment ... I don’t do a lot of regular procedures. Two bruised ribs, hip and slight tear to the right ACL. Elevated heart rates for her and baby, but not unexpected. I’m running a full scan, to be safe. I take it you disagree with my treatment?”

"Go, treat her." He pointed to the room. "I'm going to get something. And if you're in doubt stop the treatment and wait for me." He continued to mutter as he walked towards his office.

A look of annoyance crossed the woman’s features before she turned and headed into the room. “Sorry about that,” she apologised, “try hold as still as you can and I’ll deal with all these bumps and bruises while the scan finishes.”

With a quiet calm she worked, methodical as she made small talk. As she wrapped up, her workstation chimed. Crossing the room she called up the scans, frowning. “Heart rate and blood pressure is still a little high...”

She turned, smiling brightly, “nothing to be overly concerned about. Rest is key, but let me confer with Dr Hades...”

Carolyn rolled her eyes as the woman disappeared again. “Seriously?!” She muttered under her breath.

“Dr Hades, there seems to be an advisory note for any treatment which may affect the baby to be referred to you,” Kelley states, the look or annoyance back. “I’m recommending the secondary treatment protocol for the baby’s elevated heart rate and systolic blood pressure... may I continue?”

Carrying his bag he had come in just as Kelley began speaking. "Try the natural root first. Telerite Dilong Spice. Make it a tea extra strong. If it's no better in 20 minutes then we try it." The tea would work and it was more natural. He knew that and as he finished speaking he headed towards the room. "Get the tea monitor the vitals from your office."

Heading to the replicator, muttering under her breath, she fixed her brightest and sweetest smile into place as she followed in his wake. “I’ll leave this here,” she said as she set down the tea and retreated.

Carolyn’s eyes narrowed, noticing the pulsing vein which suggested her colleague was about to explode. Without the scan running, the retractable arms had slid back into place, giving freedom to actually move. Sitting up she glanced at the tea before focusing on Hades, hoping her most urgent question would be one he would answer. “What did the scan show? Kelley mentioned an elevated heart rate ..?”

"Yes she did." He pointed to the cup. "Drink."

At his instruction she lifted the cup and took a cautious sip. Just as the smell promised, the tea was ... something else. Initially sweet before a bitterness kicked in. She drank it as quickly as possible, thankful it was a small cup. And if tasted so bad, it had to be good for you.

The audience, however, she wasn’t so thankful for.

In silence he had watched her drink. Which was perhaps an improvement on shouting. Yes, a definite improvement. As she set the teacup down she sat back, the silence stretching on. It was driving her insane.

“You don’t have to stay, Dr Kelley will make sure the baby is fine,” she told him. “And if she orders rest, I’ll rest. I’m off duty tomorrow anyway for ... never mind. I’m off duty.”

He raised an eyebrow. "For?"

“The power of Greyskull?” She muttered as she sat back, not sure why he was still here. “Just, for me. I drank the tea, is that all you wanted?”

"No. I want to make sure that both you and baby are fine."

Before he could say anything else the door whooshed open. Kalani entered a look of concern on her face. "Are you alright?" She asked stopping by Carolyn's side.

“It was just bad timing. Everything will be fine,” Carolyn assured her, although her voice was far from certain. "None of you need to be here. Dr Kelley is more than capable."

She didn't even look at Hades, sure he would turn her words into another shining example of her stellar behavioural traits. Of course she didn't want to be alone. Nor did she want her company to be the man who had unleashed a long and impassioned speech about how he did not actually like her. She had downright lied through her teeth that day when she said she didn't care what he thought, but at the time it was easier than the punch she would have thrown otherwise.

Kalani studied the two. She resisted the urge to slap them both. "Hades be a love and leave."

He turned. "Absolu..."

"Out!" Kalani raised her voice. "Now!"

He stared her down a moment and then left.

Kalani turned to Carolyn, "There. That's a might better. It will let him cool off and give you some breathing room." She paused allowing the silence to stretch. "You've been avoiding me."

"No," she lied. "Well, kind of. I just, you're his wife. It didn't seem fair to have you stuck in the middle... sorry."

She shook her head and then chuckled and then laughed, "Oh my...I can't believe this."

Carolyn looked at her, frowning. "What's so funny?"

"You," she said pointing to Carolyn. "You and Hades. Both cut from the same cloth. Both so much alike that you drive one another nuts."

"So it would seem," Carolyn muttered, sitting on the edge of the biobed and looking towards the door. "Can you take him home? Or anywhere that is not here? Please."

"In time. But you don't see it yet." She sighed and sat down. "Carolyn, what he did was ... stupid. But he didn't do it to hurt you. Your spiral made him desperate and he figured if you healed you'd be open to love, friendship, trust. That night that Ariana forced you two to talk was perhaps the first night I saw the man I fell in love with. When he came home he was vulnerable, open, raw and...broken. He was showing all that. He shared everything with me, a full mind meld. It... took me a few days to decipher it all but I did eventually. He's here because he wants to ensure you are well."

Carolyn arched an eyebrow as she looked at her friend, wondering if she realised how ironic that was. To betray a trust to try and help her trust people.

"I know he is hurting," she said quietly, massaging the palm of her hands absently. "I know he is in pain. What I lost that night, it doesn't even scratch the surface of what he has lost. And that day? In Ariana's office... I can't be that person he wants to see. And he made it absolutely clear he was done. And I am to exhausted to fight with him."

"Carolyn if he were done he wouldn't be here. With respect to you and Richard he was torn as a father." She sighed. "See it this way. He did something without your permission or without asking you because he wanted to help you heal to protect you. He made a decision on your behalf and it made you feel bad. Right?"

"Right," she said slowly, trying to figure out where she was going with this.

"So when you refused to see me you didn't want to create a problem with me and Hades. You didn't want me to choose between the two of you. You took my right to make the decision away but for my own good. Right?"

"It was hardly the same thing. I mean, I get the point but this was huge, Kalani. To me at least. What if it hadn't been Harris? Say, if things had gone further with Liam, and I ended up pregnant?" she argued. She sighed, waving the thought away. It was the kind of thing he would have never thought of. "So, get off the pity party as he called it, right?"

"Actually... from our meld I gather Richard wasn't the reason he did this. Your treatment started long before Hades took Richard seriously about his feelings for you. Hades....saw that you were hurt and broken and he was a doctor. He wanted to fix you. He respected Liam and if you had been pregnant by him he would have been happy." She stood and paced. "Carolyn Hades has lost so much and has had to fix so many problems that he just ... I don't know, works overtime at it. You've seen the First Federation. They are more advanced then us and he's bound by their rules not to use their methods yet he does daily to help patients here." She walked back and sat down. "Do you remember Ensign Porten." The young man had been burned beyond hope when a plasma system breached in engineering.

Carolyn nodded, "Yes."

"Hades broke Starfleet Regs and FF Regs. He used his knowledge and technology he shouldn't have to heal him. He ignores his own body and pain because he's so focused on others. He wasn't really treating you two for one another. He would never tell you the truth because if you hate him he figures you are safe. He treated you and the fertility treatment was to help with the scar tissue treating. He was treating Richard because Richard was infertile and he wanted to make his son healthy. The fact that you two..collided was a happy coincidence that produced your baby, a small part of Richard the son he now lost so no he doesn't regret it but you have to understand all this."

Frowning, Carolyn stared down at the floor as Kalani spoke. "We collided because of Hades," she said quietly, taking a deep breath. Looking up she offered a sad smile, "I can't fix this. I can't be who he thinks I should be. He says he's done but he's here, that he doesn't like who I am but he wont let me leave. And I've tried."

"He won't let you leave because he cares about you. You are more then you give yourself credit for and in time you can see it. You have to let go of your pain, and distrust, and isolation not for you but for your son, or daughter."

"If he cared, he'd have been honest with me," she countered. "He would be telling me this. And I am trying."

Kalani placed a hand on Carolyn's. "I know you are trying. And Hades...well is Hades. I had to threaten divorce if he didn't let me in and even then he tried to block me. When I finally saw it all... well let's just say me and him have a lot to talk about. He' hurting. He's lost so many people in his life and he blame himself for them all. For Yanara, Richard's mother, for his daughter, the people on that shuttle, his first wife, his family, all those he wasn't able to save from his people, for Adari too."

"Adari?"

"The way Hades explained it to me is her species...becomes light when their time comes. The rainbow within the ocean on her planet. Her time had come a while ago but she was able to keep going to ensure you and Ariana were alright. To ensure Richard was honoured as was needed and then...well she passed a few days ago."

"No..." Carolyn said softly. She closed her eyes, thinking of everything the woman had done. For her, for Harris, for their baby, for Ariana. Taking a moment to compose herself she nodded, "thank you, for telling me. I'm glad he has you to talk to."

She stood. "He wants you to hate him you know." She said as she walked to the door.

"Can you tell him he's managing that just fine, he didn't need the most disgusting tea in the quadrant?" she asked.

She smiled sadly and turned. "He's being an idiot Carolyn. Wanting you to hate him and you're being stubborn more then willing to give up and push people away." She sighed, "Just like two peas in a pod." She tuned and left. They were both being so unreasonable.

Hades entered the room with another tea. "Your pressure is normalizing. The baby's too. One more cup." He put it down on her table.

She eyed the cup with clear distaste as she picked it up. Not wishing to prolong it, she drank it in two quick gulps. "Still as disgusting as the first one," she decided as she set the empty cup down. "So, what now?"

"You rest. Kelley will take care of the rest of the treatment." He looked as if he wanted to say something. No, he shook his head. He would not. It would be easier if she hated him. He'd leave and she'd hate him and it would be easier. "Rest." He said and turned towards the door.

"Kalani told me about Adari," she said softly, "I'm sorry."

He stopped and turned. His face betrayed his emotions for a moment only before he regained his composure. "She held on long enough to be of help. Her pain was great all because she wanted to help me." He shrugged. She was better off hating him. He turned and headed out the door just as Kelley came back in.

"Hades, wait!" she called after him. She looked at Kelley, "give us a few minutes please. Maybe find Dr Reid, I need to see her to handover cases for later..."

Kelley sighed, nodded and disappeared again.

"I don't know how to fix this... us," she admitted quietly. "But Kalani had a lot to say. A lot. And I'm sorry. I know you don't especially think much of me but I am sorry. For Richard. For everything you have gone through."

Hades turned an odd and out of place astonished look in his eyes. "What an illogical thought." He walked back and stood by the foot of the bed, leaning on the rail. "Why would you think that I do not think much of you? And you have nothing to feel sorry for. Richard was a good man. You did nothing to him, in fact I should be thanking you for making him so happy. After all the pain he'd been through he served happiness even for a little while."

“Why would I think that...” she mused, rolling her eyes. “Because you said it? That you don’t like who I am because it isn’t who you think I should be?”

She stared up at the ceiling, thinking. “Kalani said you wanted me to hate you,” she added. “Is that true?

There are a lot of people who have had to raise children alone,” she said slowly, “and you’ve seen my grandmother - family really isn’t a Corrigan selling point. But you are Richard’s father, this baby’s grandfather. She will have so many questions about him that I will never know the answer to.

She’ll have questions about you too. She will want to know you, and Kalani. But before all of that...

I made a choice, two years ago to lead my team. And it cost me everything. And today,” she stopped, gathering her thoughts. “And today I was so scared for that split second that it was going to happen again.”

She smiled, “stupid, right? I wish he was here. He would know what to say. What to do. I don’t. I miss him, a lot. And I miss you too.

But I’m exhausted, Hades. Between work, the sickness, the nightmares, processing what happened that night, trying to plan for the future - I have nothing left to spare right now. And you! You told me you were done but you won’t let me leave. I can’t keep doing this. And I’m running out of good medical facilities in the alphabet...”

Hades sighed, "Yes...they all go downhill after G."

“I don’t know, I heard they were considering a new facility on Risa...”

He allowed himself to smile. Walking over he sat down and took her hand. "Richard always had a way with words. He knew what to say and through all the pain, all the heartache, all the bad he saw the good, he had a comforting way, an innocence about him." He sighed, "He was a lot like Yanara, his mother. She had his spirit." He looked at her, really looked at her. "I will always be there for you and the baby but...I have some work to do first. And yes...I thought it better if you hated me."

“Why?” She asked softly. “Why was it so important for me to hate you?”

He was lost for words for a moment. "It will keep you safe."

“How will hating you keep me - and more importantly- this baby safe? I don’t understand...” she admitted. “Isn’t the danger the same if I hate you or not? And in case you hadn’t noticed, our jobs can be dangerous at times.”

He sighed, "It's complicated." He smiled at her face. "We'll talk more when you are out of here. Take the day and rest. Tomorrow is a new day."

“It is,” she agreed before adding, “my brother made me a holodeck programme to use tomorrow. Lots of guaranteed relaxation.”

He smiled, "Good. Use it." He stood. "This child will have a large family behind him or her.”

“I’m sure she will,” Carolyn said with a small smile.

Hades turned, he raised an eyebrow, "She?"

“She,” Carolyn confirmed with a nod.

He smiled a little, "Seventeen sons, five daughters and one grandchild."

“Seventeen?!” she repeated.

"I was not joking when I said you were a part of a large family. "You've met three of them, Harris, Kitana, and Fal. I think that I will reach out to the rest...eventually."

“Eventually,” she said, realising the whole thing was giving her a headache. “Hades?”

He turned, "Yes?"

“Thank you, for the tea,” she said quietly. “And for coming down.”

He smiled, "I'll see you again." He turned and left her to rest.

“At last!” Dr Kelley declared as she entered the room, looking relieved to finally be able to work in peace. “Now, enough of that tea....”

OFF

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