The time to talk has arrived

Posted on Wed Mar 11th, 2020 @ 5:28am by Lieutenant Commander Ariana Monroe-Wayne & Commander Hades,MD & Lieutenant Commander Carolyn Corrigan MD

2,068 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 105 – Evacuation
Location: Counselling Suite
Timeline: MD01 1700 hrs

On

This was ... unnecessary. Approaching the suite nestled into a quiet corner away from the majority of the ship’s medical facilities, Doctor Corrigan could easily list a million other things she should be doing and other places she should be. Would rather be. Yet after flatly refusing an offer to sit down and speak to Ariana several times now, the offer had become an order.

Touching the door chime she considered making an escape. Yet where to go? And she had no desire to be dragged here by security or have their counsellor invoke her powers to have her removed from duty. Sickbay was her rock, her solid grounding. And so she stayed, watching as the doors slid open to allow her inside.

“Reporting as -“ she broke off, realising her friend was not alone. “I’ll come back later...”

“Hold it Carolyn!” Ariana’s voice was gentle yet firm. “This ... whatever it is between the two of you has to be sorted out. It’s affecting both of you and it’s not doing you or Hades any good bottling it all up. You’re going to sit here with me and we’re going to get through this together. Unless of course either of you wants me to enforce removal from duty?” She looked between Carolyn and Hades. “This isn’t little old chilled out Ariana anymore, this is the new improved version who isn’t taking any messing about!”

Already half turned towards the door, Carolyn’s eyes narrowed as she turned back to face her friend. There was no doubting the resolve on Ariana’s face, no doubting she was still serious about using every means at her disposal to get what she wanted.

“Fine,” she conceded, clearly unhappy as she sat down on the opposite side of the sofa from Hades. “This is unnecessary. We talked. Kind of.”

Which was technically true. They had until she became a blubbering hormonal wreak. Yet so much had been left unsaid. And since then? They had barely seen each other. And when they had been in the same room the rest of the senior doctors had been too while her free time was spent alone, wanting space to ... well, be alone.

“Thank you Carolyn” Ariana offered a smile. “I’m sorry if I sound harsh but all this stress isn’t good for either of you. Especially you Carolyn.”

She couldn’t fight the eye roll at that comment, “pregnancy isn’t a disease. I’m fine. Just tell us what you want to hear and we can say it and then we can leave.”

She was about to say escape but caught herself. Ariana knew how she felt about rooms like this but then again, their old policy of using a holodeck had kind of been worse. Like psychopath engineer worse. She shifted uncomfortably on the seat.

"Carolyn, please" Ariana moved to take a seat her stern look softening somewhat. "I'm not being unreasonable, I'm just trying to help. You both have to work together, I just want to make it easier." She looked at Hades. "Do you think I'm being unreasonable too?"

Hades stared, "Yes I am. And to point out the CMO outranks the counselor...so I could put a stop to this...." He sighed. But he didn't want to. He wanted to talk to Carolyn. He turned to her. "Like it or not I am your father in law...." He said with dramatic flair.

“I know,” she said quietly. Like it or not, it was the reality and she did not know how she felt about it.

She took a deep breath, trying not to dwell on the many times she had been in rooms like this, managing to avoid talking about much of anything. Trying not to feel cornered. “You have said why you did what you did... but it’s not enough. You felt justified but ... that doesn’t make it right...”

She paused, trying to collect her thoughts as they scrambled in a million different directions. To pull them into something coherent.

“Part of why you did this, you said was for me, because of my past. But that was my decision to make,” she looked at him, “my past. My pain. My scars to deal with in my way. And it was his decision to make too.

I feel...angry, and hurt, betrayed and lost. And not once have you stopped to say sorry. I don’t even know how to believe you. Lies are your truth, you surround yourself with them.” She stopped and let silence fall as she stared down at the floor.

Ariana had moved aside during the conversation letting Carolyn and Hades talk without interruption. What was said here in her office would stay in her office, but she was starting to understand why Carolyn felt as she did now the story was unfolding before her. She’d given Hades the benefit of the doubt, she still would but she needed to finish her conversation with Fal to see what he was going to show her before Hades walked in.

Ariana’s mind drifted to one question she hadn’t thought of until now, Why hadn’t Adari told her she was pregnant? She would have known from the medical scans run. It was something she’d mention once Hades and Carolyn had finished their session together.

“I know,” Carolyn added quietly, “that you are hurting. He was your son ... And I’m the reason he is dead. I couldn’t save him and if it wasn’t for me, he’d never have been in danger at all.”

She looked at Hades, “for that, I am sorry. As inadequate and useless as those words could ever be. They won’t bring him back. Nothing will.”

The momentary defensiveness that had crossed his path ended. He sighed and looked up at Carolyn. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You are NOT the reason he's dead. Those responsible are. He saved you and he saved his child." Hades stood and paced. He rubbed the bridge of his nose.

There was so much to say and frankly he didn't know how to say it. He turned. "Do you want the truth or do you want things sugar coated." In that instant he decided that it was time.

Ariana kept quiet, this was for Carolyn to decide and she hoped she took advantage of it.

“Truth, always,” Carolyn told him.

He turned and took a deep breath. "I've had enough of this." He waved his hand. "You want the truth, so here it is. Years ago, as I told you, I was the first experiment. Then I got away and I promised I would live a quiet life. The program was reactivated and they stole my son! My boy!" He jabbed his chest. Carolyn had known this, Ariana was hearing it now too. He didn't care any more.

"Your right. I lived in lies and half truths. I hid my identity to protect Richard. I hid my age so I could ensure those who did this would be held to task. All my life I have fought for my people. I've lived for them, to find them, to keep them safe, to help them grow." He continued to pace. "The day you," he said pointing to Carolyn.

"The day you walked into my sickbay Richard told me that he was going to marry you. He was in love in an instant." I didn't take him seriously and the more I got to know you the more I discouraged him but that boy has had more heart then anything. You Carolyn are defensive, you shut people out, you bare pain on your own and you push and push and push people away. People walk on eggshells. Yeah I healed you. I wanted to make you whole to see if that could possibly help. I knew you would refuse because you have existed in your pain all your life. Your reliance on sedatives proves it. I have kept it off your record, tried to help you as a friend, as someone who loved and cared for you no matter how much you pushed me away."

He waved his hands around, "You fought me. Despite it I've seen the person you are under all that.... defensiveness and prickliness. As much as I was against it I allowed Richard to make his own decision and I did what I could to give my son and you happiness. I'm not one damn bit sorry because Richard had the purest and most decent heart and this baby, marrying you made him happy. After everything he's gone through he deserved it and you started to grow and change. Yes he's dead, you've lost him but so have I. You sit there pointing your finger and seeing yourself as a victim, poor me, well you never want to leave that mentality. Your angry, fine be angry, but pull yourself together and realize the gift you have!" He said pointing to her stomach. "The gift many of my people were never able to have with those what weren't of our kind. You have no idea who I am and what I've been through and frankly you don't seem to care. Fine so be it but I am your commanding officer for the moment. It won't be for long but for the moment it's true. I'm telling you to pull yourself together and do your job. Think about your life and when your ready to change and when you're ready to give up this pity party then you can get to work."

Hades looked at Ariana. "This conversation is over. Do your jobs, both of you." Huffing he headed out of the room needing to cool down a little.

Ariana stood stunned, she wasn't expecting an outburst like that from Hades. She knew he had buried feelings but he'd always kept it hidden away even from her empathic senses. All she could do was look towards Carolyn. "Are you alright?"

“Finally! Some truth from you!” Carolyn shouted after him. “Want some truth of your own?!”

He had been just at the cusp of the door. Sighing he turned. He would let her say her peace and then he'd leave.

“You talk about me baring pain alone? Have you looked in a mirror? You created a myth, a world of lies to hide who you were, even from your own son. Every thing you confided to me, I kept secret, everything you asked me to do, I did. You don’t like who I am? I don’t care! I looked up to you! I grieved with both of you when Kalani lost her child, nobody else cared to stand between you and Lynn that night and they sure as hell couldn’t tell you how far you fell when Kalani was hurt. I told her about her baby because you, Hades, couldn’t! I have held your heart in my hands and gave everything to save you. Stood with you as Sage transitioned.

Harris was too good for me, he was too good for everyone! Yes you gave me something I had given up any hope for. It is a miracle. Thank you!

And it’s fantastic to know I’ll be doing this alone. I have surgery in an hour, but you will have my transfer papers by the end of the day. You need a deputy you at least like, after all.

Oh, and as for what you went through... many times you have told me this is your story or this is what is going on. I’m sorry for what happened to you all but how can someone know if you don’t tell them!”

He turned away. "I didn't say he was too good for you." He kept his voice level. "I don't like who you are because you are worth so much more then you give yourself credit for. You hide who you are but I know your full potential you just have to give yourself permission to live. You'll only do this alone because you refuse help. Now get back to sickbay, you have work to do. Transfer denied. This sickbay will be yours soon. Get to work." He turned and walked away.

{OFF}

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