What is it about the stars?

Posted on Fri Apr 12th, 2019 @ 6:05pm by Splendora Sage & Lieutenant Commander Ariana Monroe-Wayne

1,421 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Episode 97 - Cultural Exchange
Location: Starbase 400 - Breakfast Nook
Timeline: MD 08 0700 hours

ON:

Braxton sat down with his plate by the window looking very much tired, as if he had not slept. He looked vulnerable and beaten down as if 100,000 pounds of emotion and weight sat on his chest. Any Betazoid would recoil at the tumultuous storm of emotions rolling through him. He slowly unwound the cutlery and looked down at his plate. Eggs, bacon, toast, butter. It was a good breakfast but he knew, like his last few meals, it would taste like sawdust.

Ariana had decided to eat breakfast out of her quarters for a change, picking her chosen breakfast she couldn't help but sense the waves of emotion coming from a table by the window. Following the emotions she ramped up her mental shields as she approached. "Mikhail?" She put down her tray and took a seat. "I didn't realise it was you. Are you alright?"

Braxton looked from the window to Ariana as she sat down and then back. Instead of answering her question directly he said in a Cajun accent thicker then usual with emotion, "What is it about the stars? They are beacons of hope for millions, an adventure waiting and yet they can be a doorway to the greatest misery life could offer."

Ariana looked out at the stars. "I used to sit and stare out at the stars too after I lost Jonathon, that's all I wanted to do at first. Get myself lost in the stars and forget the universe existed." She looked back at Braxton. "I can feel your pain, the emotions are pouring off you. Talk to me about it?"

His instinct was to say no, a protective one yet...something in him caved, it could be that she looked so much like Nicole. It could be that he'd reached his limit of emotions and that if he didn't talk to someone he'd be lost. "Before she died I rejected her."

Ariana could feel Mikhail's pain at his admission. "When you say you rejected her, who? what happened? I know it's painful but help me understand."

He sighed, "After Nicole died...I was dead. I do not know if I am fully alive now." He pushed the plate away no longer having an appetite. "I arrived here and met a remarkable woman. Lai'lira, you may have heard she died of the fever. She was close to Hades, and Admiral T'Lar. I took care of her, bodyguard work for a family that wanted her dead. She...developed an attachment to me. She came to see me on Cardassia, she told me she loved me. I did not understand. I told her I did not love her. I could sense...the pain of rejection but...it was the truth. I cared for her but not love. She told me that the heart can love in many ways and the next day...she was dead." He looked at Ariana, "She's gone because of a broken heart?"

Ariana paused now she understood his pain. "Of course you didn't kill her Mikhail. You've only recently learned the truth behind Nicole's death, you're still mourning the loss of your wife." She sighed. "Accepting the loss of a loved one is hard. You were offered the chance of love before you were ready for it, Lai'lira's death wasn't your fault."

He looked up a feeling of bitterness. "But you see there in lies the issue. I refused Lai'lira not because I was mourning Nicole. I refused her because I have feelings for someone else...someone who cannot and will not love me because she is in love with another." He sighed, a shuddered breath, "I have betrayed both Nicole's memory and Lai'lira."

"You have Not betrayed Nicole and neither have you betrayed Lai'lira." She tried to think how to word it without making him feel any worse than he already did. "You didn't have chance to explain your feelings to Lai'lira, she was taken by the fever not your rejection. Whoever it is that holds your heart, does she even know?"

He sighed, "Yes. We have not spoken of it but she knows. I have kept my distance."

"I am sorry Mikhail" Aeryn looked at him understandingly. "This obviously makes you feel like the universe is against you, I could spend forever trying to convince you otherwise but it wouldn't make any difference." She wanted to offer him a hug. Just to hold him and make him feel like he wasn't as alone as he thought but she knew he wouldn't like it even if she suggested it.

Aeryn looked at her tray picking up her drink. "You know sometimes you must embrace the pain."

He smiled slightly, "Nicole used to say that, a lot."

Just then Splendora walked by carrying a try. "Counselor Monroe! I was hoping to run into you." Braxton shot to his feet. "I have to go. I will be on duty soon." He picked up his tray.

Splendora placed a hand on his arm, "Braxton..."

"Ladies." He turned and walked away.

Splendora signed and sat down in the chair he'd vacated. "I'm sorry," she said to Ariana. "He did that because of me not you."

"Not so much" Ariana watched Braxton go. "I remind him of Nicole and to be honest sometimes I feel like she's right here with me. Strange seeing as I've never met her." She looked at Splendora.

She smiled, "He is complicated much like his cousin. Which is my reason for seeking you out."

"I have approved Hades request to transfer to your care" Ariana looked at Splendora. "We had a talk and I understand his reasons."

She smiled, "I'm glad he spoke with you. This is a...delicate matter. I need to get him to trust those around him. I also know that some therapists can feel the loss personally as if it was them, I just wanted to assure you that it is not and that I know you see him as more then a patient, as a friend. I will keep you updated as much as I can. My promise to you. Once this...is dealt with I am sure he will transfer back."

"I just hope you can help Hades to find the peace he needs and reconcile his feelings for the woman he so obviously loves." She offered Splendora an understanding smile. "It's not easy for him when the nurses have a pool running trying to guess the identity of his lover! If there's anything you need...either of you...then please let me know."

Splendora laughed. "Ah yes the nurses pool. I must admit I have a spy in the group. Some of the theories are...interesting." She smiled, "I will let you know. His mate...well lets just say the identity was a surprise to me too."

"I'm afraid I haven't been made privy to that one yet. Maybe I should have asked but I didn't want to pry" Ariana shrugged her shoulders. "Let's just say I'm eager to find out but only when Hades wants me to know."

"He'll get there." She looked at the woman. "How have you been. You've been through a lot as of late. It cannot be easy."

"No...it isn't" Ariana sighed. "I'm trying to...find a way to accept what happened to me and right now I can't seem to find a way to do that!" She played with the food on her tray. "Being on reduced duties gives me extra time on my hands and I don't know what to do with myself!!"

"It was a difficult thing you went through." She took Ariana's hand. "I have an idea. How would you like to have a girls day out? We'll go baby shopping and decorate your baby’s room? You've felt pain and heartache but how about we try to build some excitement for the baby on the way."

Ariana smiled and nodded. “I think I’d like that. I’ll be staying with Freya & Kaden Ross for the next few months but I’ll be keeping my Quarters so we can decorate the spare room for when I move back in.”

Sage smiled, "Wonderful. How about we start today. Maybe meet at 1500 hours?"

Ariana nodded and smiled. "I would like that very much! Thank you Splendora."

She smiled, "This will be fun!" She stood. "Well I should go. I have a few bits of inventory coming in. I'll see you later today."

Ariana nodded and smiled. “I’ll see you then.”

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