Picking Up the Pieces

Posted on Mon Oct 13th, 2014 @ 4:02am by Lieutenant Colonel Jillian "Phoenix" Sullivan & Commander Tressa Brislan

1,266 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Mission 86 - Discovery
Location: Observation Room

When Phoenix awoke, it was not to find any of the medical staff there. She knew Tressa was busy fixing the grave error that was Phoenix snapping on the one person she loved more than any other in this world.

Eventually a nurse did come into her room to tell Phoenix she was there for an overnight observation. And that Tressa would see her once Tressa made her rounds.

At this point, Phoenix welcomed the possibility of being locked up in a loony bin, rather than out in the population where she could hurt yet another she cared for. What Phoenix did not know what that when one became aware of their behavior and wanted to shield others from it, meant she was very rational.

Still, even Tressa had a right to know what happened to Siaxx and so Phoenix did not fight the medical orders. But she also could not get back to sleep either, due to extreme worry and guilt about Siaxx.

Dare she ask to see her lover? No. Phoenix felt she lost all rights to be part of Siaxx's life. And that probably hurt her the most, really. Reaching the realization that she could hurt Siaxx again in a rage she feared she could not control. And that everyone would push her from Siaxx to protect the Bolian from the ticking time bomb of rage that was Phoenix.

That might of been why Phoenix sat up in bed, tears running down her face, with a digital pen and PADD writing possible solutions, both medical and personal, to prevent such a travesty from ever occurring.


Tressa was alerted when Phoenix awoke; she was with the now-sleeping Siaxx and simply acknowledged the computer's message.

The doctor and pilot had met under stressful circumstances. Tressa remembered the woman who had walked into her Sickbay that day; broken bones, severely damaged urethra, an STD, her blood full of poision. She was frightened but at the same time remarkably strong, and the doctor had been drawn to her as a moth to a flame. Tressa had to help others because that was her nature, but never before had she seen someone who so needed to be heard and held.

Now she was looking at a woman who had borne the brunt of Phoenix's rage, the first person other than herself that the pilot had let in. How did this happen?

She touched Siaxx' hand gently then left the room. Moments later she was facing Phoenix.


Phoenix looked up at Tressa with a very dry mouth. She honestly was not sure where to start. How much did Siaxx tell Tressa? It would be easier to go from that point, rather than tell the entire story all over again.

"I aint gonna hit ya." Phoenix sniffed and looked back at her PADD and started writing again. "Don' blame ya fer keepin' your distance. Nor if ya wanna rip my head off."

"I've never wanted to hurt you, Phoenix. I don't think I ever could."

"Why's that?" Phoenix asked with watery, confused blue eyes that looked back up at Tressa.

"I think you are a good person, loving and deserving of love," Tressa said softly. "I'm not concerned with why you did what you did, either. We need to find away to get through it, to make sure that it doesn't happen again. You don't want it to happen again," she said, the last more a statement than a question.

"I should burn in hell fer hurtin' the woman I love," Phoenix admitted with fresh tears rolling down her face. "...Just so angry lately."

"Talk to me, Phoenix," the doctor said, pulling a chair next to the bed. She took the woman's hand in her own and held it gently. "There's no one here but you and me."

"You aint met Mom yet," Phoenix began, sniffing. "She gets her treatment from your techs, when she comes in... But she's dyin' and I hate feelin' helpless."

There was a long pause after her voice cracked. Though she did not realize that crying gradually lowered her temper gauge. When she had that control in her voice again, she added, "An' I can' stomach the thought of Yeager commin' here... Nor knowin' I don' have a relationship with my girlfriend where my confessions are fer her only."

Tressa hung her head for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. "There will have to be some mending and healing between you for certain," she began. "I haven't seen your mother to evaluate her condition, and this Yeager... have you spoken to Command about him?"

"Brass aint connected enough ta do him in," Phoenix spoke with a shake of revulsion. "An' it's words of criminals, against him. An' 'at never really plays out well in our favor."

"You don't know until you try," the doctor said softly. "It couldn't hurt to tell your side of the story."

"I dunno if I can," Phoenix sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "Takes a lot just ta tell you an' Siaxx the bare details. Givin' a full account?" Phoenix convulsed with that thought.

"I can give you something that will calm you, it may make you sleepy though. Maybe you need some rest," Tressa said.

"If you wanna pull my flight status for a few weeks, for medical reasons, I aint gonna fight it," Phoenix sniffed again and sat her PADD down on the nightstand. "Tell me what ta do ta keep the monster away."

"That will take time, and therapy." The doctor walked over to the room's terminal and began to type. "I'm giving you three weeks' off for medical care," she said. "I'm going to set you up with additional counseling as well."

"Not got a good supply of shrinks at the moment," Phoenix reminded Tressa with a frown. "Then again I aint really treated ya more than my doc when I know you wanna be a friend."

Tressa smiled wryly as she walked back over to the bed. "That's the dichotomy of me... I care about you even if you don't care about me, or yourself for that matter. No, not because I have to, just because I do."

"I wanna trust more," Phoenix admitted sadly. "...Just I often fear folks paying' fer my mistakes - as my folks have."

The doctor sat down again and watched Phoenix for a long moment. "I wish there was an easy answer, but there isn't," she began. "I think part of being an adult is realizing that our actions and choices affect others, for better or for worse. 'No man is an island, Entire of itself, Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the maine...."

Phoenix weighed the explanation heavily in her mind, then took a deep breath before she decided to talk of Yeager once more.

"Yeager is coming within the month to see his daughter," Phoenix began with a visual unease of fidgeting with her hands. "An' the more folks Siaxx tells, the worse the stress... 'Cause he aint a man ya mess with, but everone she's talked ta don' bother by his connections."

"That doesn't mean he is above the law, and he should answer for his actions just as any other man."

"I agree..." Phoenix agreed uneasily. "But he's got friends in all sorts of government branches that could swing things in his favor... An' convicted criminals don' usually get believed."

"You aren't alone, you know," Tressa said gently.

"I think I'm starting to see that now," Phoenix admitted with watery eyes.

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