Parenthood

Posted on Sat Oct 11th, 2014 @ 2:36am by Lieutenant Colonel Jillian "Phoenix" Sullivan & Captain Torilla Yamaguchi

2,771 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: Mission 86 - Discovery
Location: Parkour Park

Since revealing Aryssa's parentage to Siaxx, Phoenix had felt a lot more stress upon her. More so with the arrival of the Sullivans. Which was a happy occasion overall, entailing Siaxx's fantastic cooking and stories told until dawn the next morning.

Siaxx saw Phoenix become exceptionally joyous. That was, until Aryssa passed out on the sofa and the adults talked a long time in the eating area. The revelation that Phoenix was going to lose her mother to the poison that made Phoenix sick? In maybe six month's time?

She was not ready to be a mother. That was why Aryssa did not come with Phoenix when the pilot was released from prison. What child could love a parent so messed up? So filled with hate and bile against the Cardassians? How could any child deal with having a parent that always came home so drunk they passed out almost as soon as they got to their bed?

She did not want motherhood. It frightened her. She was an alcoholic and though she was never the type to be violent while under the influence, that did not stop her from at least being pragmatic about it eventually happening. If there was the slightest chance of harming Aryssa because of this fault, Phoenix did not want to be near the girl...

Which was why she found herself in the parkour park of all things, in her black tank top and shorts. She had poured all her frustration and despair into the high-bar jumps. Sweat poured from her body as she tried to navigate through all ten bars, which were five feet apart from each other and used a lot of grip and arm strength.

She had been at this particular obstacle for at least two hours now. Her arms ached and her back was starting feel like she had little needles put into them. Add to it, the upper body obstacles put so much strain on her fingers, that her fleshed hand just gave out the moment she tried to grip the sixth bar in front of her... and down she went into the blue crash pad face-first.

"Not my day," Phoenix grunted with agony and then pulled herself up. Only she stopped when she saw an offered hand in front of her and followed her eyes up the arm to where she saw Torilla.

Now she was dazed, for Phoenix did not really operate in Torilla's social circle. And Torilla was not a parkour practitioner, so it made no since for the woman to be in Phoenix's part of the gym. As such, this meant Torilla wanted something, in Phoenix's deductions.

"Something I can do for you?" Phoenix asked civilly.

"Its more of what I can do for you." Torilla was wearing her workout gear, a light grey tank top and a pair of track pants. "Are you alright Phoenix?" she inquired with a soft smile. "Would it help if you could hit something?" the Halanian woman inquired.

Behind Torilla, at the large blue mat in the corner was her youngest daughter, clearly the two were doing martial arts training.

"Drinking too much lately has left me a tad out of practice," Phoenix spoke bitterly as she took Torilla's hand and stood up. "You take lots of falls in parkour until you learn to master your inner strength as well as the physical."

Torilla smiled at the other woman. "I can tell you have a lot on your mind.... we could hear you from over there..." the larger woman responded. "We tried not to listen..." she added with a sheepish smile. "Do you want to talk about it?" she inquired with a smile.

"Aren't your folks trained to tune out others thoughts?" Phoenix's eyes narrowed, for she did not like being spied on by telepaths. However innocent or purposefully it was done.

"By Nature, yes." Torilla commented with a quiet smile. "Phoenix.. you overwhelmed our defenses.." she indicated Rachael who was standing nearby. "I need to work on my defenses."

"And how does a mere human do that to telepaths that spend their lives around other telepaths?" Phoenix asked in bafflement.

"There are few telepaths on base." Torilla responded. "and we were training...so we were focused on that, not on anything else.." she paused. "you sounded like white noise to us..."

"Spec Ops trained my unit how to create white noise to block out telepaths, ironically," Phoenix laughed in. "I'm sorry for disturbing you, nonetheless. Not rightly sure I know what ya wanna help me with either."

She tilted her head nervously as she looked at the kid. Phoenix, as a general rule, hated children. Mostly in part from fearing them.

"Its okay Phoenix." she caught the look towards Rachael as she raised an eyebrow. "Did you and Rachael have an argument?" she inquired.

"Nah... I just don' do much talk'n ta kids is all," Phoenix admitted uneasily and turned back to Torilla. "I stay angry most the time though, if you weren't aware before, Commander."

"Phoenix." Torilla raised an eyebrow. "Where does all this anger and rage come from...." she sighed softly as her combadge beeped. "Dvald to Yamaguchi?"

Torilla tapped her combadge. "Yeah Siaxx, what's up?"

"Just wanted to let you know your test results came back and we can discuss them whenever you're ready." Dvald sounded overly cheerful. "Should I expect you in my domain so I can torture you some more or should I come to you?"

"No...no, I'll be along shortly but afterwards, you owe me dinner if this is just a wild goose chase."

"Oh you worry about silly things way too much.... its turning you grey. I will expect you soon... Dvald out." as Torilla raised an eyebrow. "Well that was odd."

Phoenix was not sure what to say to that, nor did she make any visual gesture at Siaxx's voice. Their relationship was private, so far as Phoenix knew, even though they did have lunch together a lot in the mess lately. So Phoenix just kept looking at Torilla and waited for the woman to explain.

"I've been waking up sick most mornings these days... it could be nothing but...it could mean I'm pregnant."

"Congrats," the pilot spoke, only because that was usually what one said in that situation. But she herself did not find a lot of joy in the matter. "An' if not... maybe next try?"

Torilla smiled. "Well.. we'll soon find out." she responded. "Siaxx and I have known each other for a very long time..." she paused as she was unsure of what to say. "If you don't mind my asking... how do you release stress?" she inquired.

"Sex. Alcohol." Phoenix shrugged, then pointed to the high bars some eight foot above her. "Or I do crazy shit like that to beat myself senseless."

Torilla raised an eyebrow. "Would it help if you could hit someone who hits back?" she inquired with a smile. "I'm sure target dummies and the like will only take you so far."

"I think you already have a sparing partner," Phoenix noted as she pointed back to the other woman's daughter. "Besides... I hit harder than anything you've come face with before. It'd not be fair."

"Life is never fair and I prefer it that way.." Torilla responded evenly as a smile appeared on her face. "But if you want something different, I have a few Holosuite programs you might find diverting... Yamaguchi Alpha Sixteen through Beta Nineteen." she explained. "about forty in all, all set in different locations and with different enemies..."

For a long moment, Phoenix debated on the offer. In truth, she did not understand why someone that was still a bit of a stranger to her, wanted to help her. Add to it, the runt made Phoenix extremely nervous and want to drink something very hard.

"I... Why?" Phoenix finally blurted. "We don' know each other well at all an' you wanna save the day?"

"No." Torilla responded. "You look like someone with a lot on your mind." she added. "Why... do you have an issue with me Phoenix, if so.. then lets have it..."

"I've just grown to expect that nothing offered is without a price," Phoenix answered evenly. "An' yes, I have a lot on my mind lately. It's par the course in my life."

Torilla nodded, clearly she understood. "Fair enough... I hope you enjoy them..." she smiled at the other woman. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call on me, any time of day or night..." she commented.

"Did you always want to be a parent?" Phoenix asked as she pointed to the other woman's daughter.

"Yes I did." Torilla answered honestly. "My species is now endangered, we're having issues with sterility and mutations in our genetic codes.." she sighed. "we were raised from birth with the expectation of being good parents but.... because I went off to join Starfleet... and met Jake... I was exiled from my homeworld, Jake and his kin are all the family I have left.." she paused as she knew she had said too much but Siaxx trusted Phoenix and she had spoken very highly of the pilot to Torilla.

"You ever fuck up badly as a parent?" Phoenix asked next, for she was not entirely sure how to respond to most of Torilla's personal perspective.

"Yes." Torilla responded with a silent nod to her daughter who began packing up their equipment. "I failed to teach Beth how to use her skills properly and something went wrong with her getting into it with another telepath." she explained. "Now she uses her abilities to shroud herself... make herself hard to be seen."

"You ever felt you were really bad with kids an' regretted parenthood?" Phoenix asked, again taking note of Torilla's confession, but not knowing how to advise on it.

Torilla paused. "Walk with me..." she admitted quietly as she turned to look at her daughter, a moment later Rachael nodded as she flashed a 'thumbs up' to her mother and with that Torilla turned and led Phoenix out of the gym. "I have had many regrets with my three children... I have made many mistakes... I didn't help my son properly because his abilities came when he was eleven and not thirteen so he spent a year in a near constant state of pissed off... I didn't try hard enough to reach him..." she explained. "Rachael over there is interested in Captain Harrison's son and I'm wondering if I should allow it."

"As someone infamous for indulging in carnal pleasures on this station, I might not be the best one to ask for an opinion about that. For I believe firmly in bleeding such urges out," Phoenix frowned. "I have an STD I have to see Doctor Brislan about, to keep in check from that philosophy... Not that I don't practice safe sex, but when I'm tanked, my judgment isn't exactly there and I jump the first one willing."

Torilla raised an eyebrow "With an STD?"

"Diseases you get from having sex with folks. Used to be called VD," Phoenix answered with blinking eyes. "Some STDs are not transferable, so long as the one with the STD, goes to a doctor regularly for inoculations."

Torilla looked at Phoenix. "Ok... what STD do you have?" she inquired.

"Some Klingon-originated one," Phoenix said with a wave of the hand. "Does murder to the bladder sometimes. But it's only contagious if I'm off my meds. An' I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about it."

Torilla nodded slowly. "Tell who what?" she then smiled.

"My point, is that I've lived a solitary life, without need to consider what others should do. I don' really know if telling you to let your kid have sex at her age, is the right thing to do," Phoenix redirected.

Torilla nodded her head, understanding clearly what the other woman was saying. "Well... each species is different... Halanian's start becoming active about age fifteen." she explained. "humans its much earlier and Rachael is a blend of both styles."

"So where are we walking to exactly?" Phoenix prodded gently.

"In any direction really.... I have nowhere I need to be and Rachael knows her exercises are over... she's taking both her kit and mine home with her.." she looked at the smaller woman. "Do you have anywhere you want to go?"

"I've been trying to drink less booze off duty," Phoenix admitted. She mostly attempted to be somber more often so as to please Siaxx. "Don' think bar hopping would be good."

"Thats great news." Torilla smiled. "I tend to be such a lightweight as I seldom have more then one with dinner..." she smiled. "Siaxx told me about the thirty bars of latimum you won her that one time."

"I do a lot of stupid things, drunk," Phoenix laughed in kind.

Siaxx smiled as she walked up to the two women. "Not really... we all have our moments." she turned to Torilla. "This means no more Kung fu for you.... ever..."

"You are such a killjoy."

Siaxx raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't react. "Believe it."

"Hello Siaxx," Phoenix nodded politely for she did not want Torilla to connect the dots just yet.

Siaxx raised an eyebrow as she looked at Phoenix. "Hello Major. I'm just here to give the Commander her bad news." and with that said, she turned and did just that as she handed the larger woman a PADD. "We found out what your issue was.... " she paused as she handed the larger woman a PADD. "I checked three times.." she paused as Torilla sighed softly.

"Come by my office tomorrow and we can discuss it okay..." and with that she smiled at Phoenix. "Excuse me ladies." and with that the Bolian went and disappeared back into a turbolift.

"I have to admit... never seen a Bolian built like her," Phoenix noted after Siaxx had disappeared into the lift. "Very sensual race. Much like Deltans and Betazoids."

Torilla smiled. "I've known Siaxx a long time and I know how she thinks." she commented. "Siaxx might be sensual but she does have a dark side as well." she sighed. "its why she's still single."

"It's why I aint hitched either. I'm too much violence to a guy," Phoenix laughed wryly.

"Siaxx just has issues with most men." Torilla responded. "yet she's never had an issue with my son or my husband." she shrugged. "I can only guess why."

"I suppose any guy she lets mount her, is pretty damn lucky then," Phoenix noted appraisingly.

"Any guy who takes her to bed better be one hell of a guy." Torilla answered with a smile.

"She ever into motherhood?" Phoenix asked with much curiosity.

Torilla raised an eyebrow. "I honestly have no idea." she paused. "Its never really come up." as she paused a second time. "she's not mentioned it.... why do you ask?"

"She hangs around you. Figured you two have something in common," Phoenix shrugged.

Torilla smiled as she considered how to phrase it. "Siaxx was there for Rachael's birth." she paused. "I heard you're family are visiting you on base." she commented. "How Siaxx stayed up all night cooking and talking and still reported for work the next morning is beyond me." she smiled. "Siaxx looked a little bleary eyed earlier."

"Siaxx is a dear friend to me," Phoenix noted very gratefully. "Cares a lot for my wellbeing - which I'm not use ta so many folk doing."

Torilla smiled warmly at the other woman as she suddenly connected the dots. "I'm happy for you both...." she commented. "I've never seen her so happy.. she can't stop smiling."

"For a gal that likes not being tied down, I find it hard to believe that a mere human can make her happy," Phoenix stated very guardedly.

Torilla raised an eyebrow. "Well... I don't pester Siaxx about her relationships." she smiled down at the shorter woman. "She doesn't tell me and I respect her by not asking..."

"Fair enough." Phoenix rubbed her sure shoulder and then nodded, "I'm gonna go soak my muscles from that bit of exercise."

There was more she wanted to say, but at the same time, Phoenix did not want Torilla to know about her family like just yet.

Torilla regarded her with her dark eyes as she nodded, she knew that Phoenix wanted to say more then she was saying but she didn't press. "Okay." she paused. "a mild painkiller may also help as well as a hot shower." she then smiled.

RSS Feed