Dreams of the dawn

Posted on Thu Oct 17th, 2019 @ 8:58am by Brigadier General Kaden Ross
Edited on on Thu Oct 17th, 2019 @ 8:59am

1,300 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Episode 100 - A Hatred of Atonement
Location: Promenade
Timeline: MD02 1430 hrs

Walking along the promenade Freya had to admit she was feeling a lot better than she had earlier, Hades hadn't been kidding when he said the Ferengi peppermint tea would help with her morning sickness. It was working a treat so far. She paused to look out into space her mind drifting back to earlier that morning.

~ Flashback - 0600 hrs ~

Freya was awake early, she hadn't had the best night's sleep thanks to nightmares of events in the shelter. Visions of Kaden fighting kept playing over and over again in her head and now she was awake her stomach was telling her that morning sickness had well and truly set in. She'd had to rush herself out of bed to go into the bathroom, emerging a few minutes later feeling pretty washed out before her day had even started.

Kaden was already waiting with a ice cold glass of water to give Freya. He had put on his buttoned silk pajama top but left it unbuttoned showing off his bare torso. "You okay? You know...when I agreed to having a kid I wasn't expecting Betazoids to go thru the same as Humans when pregnant." Kaden said handing the water to his wife.

"Ohh we go through it alright!" Freya sipped the water he'd given her as she sat back on the bed. "If my mother is to be believed she went through hell with her morning sickness. I just hope I don't go through the same!"

"You know, I hate seeing you go thru this makes wonder how my dad was feeling when my mom was like this." Kaden sat down next Freya placing his hands on his lap. "I feel guilty that I had a hand in putting you through this."

"I wanted this remember?" She grinned. "It's a good trade off for the miracle of having our baby Kaden! I've been wanting this since we got married and now it's finally happening!"

Kaden sighed as he sat up and walked over to the mirror looking himself over frowning at his muscles thinking of the tragic events of his childhood he suffered cause of his condition. "I would be happy knowing if our kid is going to be free of my condition that be a miracle in itself." He replied.

"Hey..." Freya smiled as she walked over to him running her hands over his body as she walked around between him and the mirror, laying her head against his chest. "So far our baby is healthy and free of your condition, that's something to celebrate. If it happens then we'll face it together."

Kaden shook his head walking away he could hear the voices of the children calling him names in his head. He felt sick suddenly as he sat down the voices still mocking him ringing in his head. "No...no...NO!!!" Kaden shouted as he knocked over few trinkets on the table.

"Kaden..." Freya had seen her husband many ways but she hadn't expected this reaction. She wasn't sure how to react which didn't help how she was feeling one little bit.

Kaden rested his face in his hands he wasn't sure if he wanted to face their child having his condition. In fact he was dreading having to witness his terrible moments of his childhood all over again thru his off spring.

Freya sighed and headed for the bathroom. “I need to take a shower and get off to work.” As the bathroom slid shut behind her she undressed and stepped into the shower. All she knew right now was this was not how she wanted her months of pregnancy to go, she wanted it to be happy and full of joy not misery and silence between herself and Kaden.

Kaden for his part didn't see this pregnancy as a joyful moment not when he had no idea how his child was going to live free of suffering the same fate as him. He wanted to run away and hide under a rock somewhere anything to avoid seeing his kid suffered the backlash of being a freak like him. Freya was willing to face it but Kaden wasn't he just can't be strong enough to do it.

Re-emerging from the shower a few minutes later Freya dried off and picked up a fresh uniform from the bedroom. Getting dressed she offered a brief kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

Kaden stood in silence for a moment unsure how to express his fears and the sudden need to run and hide. Ariana would normally be the one he turn to for advice but she needed the rest. Maybe he should go see that Rol person he heard about. But perhaps Kaden needed to tell Freya right now what was on his mind. "Freya..."

Freya stopped in her tracks as he spoke her name, she needed Kaden more than she could ever express. “Yes?” She looked back waiting to see what he wanted.

Kaden needed to confess he couldn't handle the idea of their child having his condition. It made him sick just thinking of seeing his kid coming home crying cause their peers at school mocked them. No he couldn't do it he could not stand side by side with Freya reliving his past again. Before Kaden could speak Artemis ran out of the room and jumped up into his arms wanting attention.

"What did you want to say?" Freya stood looking back at Kaden. She more or less knew what he was trying to tell her but she needed to hear him say it. At least if he confessed his fears it would be a start, at least they could work through them together.

Kaden tried to think the best way to say it but nothing came to mind except just to spit it out right then and there. "I can't do it."

Freya's heart sank, she knew Kaden had fears but this was her greatest nightmare. "So after all our talk last night, going over the paperwork Carolyn gave us you decide you can't go through with it!!" She shook her head. Right now she couldn't think straight. "I have to go!" With that she turned to leave again.

Kaden set Artemis on the floor. "I want to be a father, Freya, but I can't be strong like you and face the possibility of the baby being a freak like me." He told her.

"Kaden..." Freya walked over to her husband hugging him tightly. "There's nothing to say this baby won't be healthy. I need you to be strong! You are my strength and I can't do this on my own."

"I am not strong like you I dread the moment I discover our kid has my condition. It makes me...it makes me want to wish I died when that bully almost killed me as a kid." Kaden said.

"Don't say things like that!" Freya looked up at him her hands gently cupping his face. "I don't know what I'd do without you Imzadi, I have to be strong now for our baby's sake and I need you to be strong for me! I can't go through pregnancy without you there supporting me."

"Freya, I..." Kaden sighed as sat down unsure what to do or say anymore. He couldn't handle the thought of his kid suffering of his muscle growth condition like he did. But Freya needed him to be with her and the least he could do is be there for her. "Would...would you be mad if I could only support you through this right now? Till we least know...if the baby is free of my condition?"

"If that's what you have to do my love." Freya nodded for now it was all she could ask.

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