Time to face the truth

Posted on Fri Apr 19th, 2019 @ 4:32pm by Brigadier General Kaden Ross & Lieutenant Commander Ariana Monroe-Wayne

2,524 words; about a 13 minute read

Mission: Episode 97 - Cultural Exchange
Location: Various
Timeline: MD8

Freya was sitting on the sofa waiting for Kaden to return home, she'd received a message from Ariana saying she wouldn't be staying and she had to wonder why. As the doors opened and Kaden walked in she looked at him curiously. "Have you seen Ariana at all? She's decided not to stay with us!"

Kaden didn’t say a word to Freya just held his injured hand and walked over to the bed and laid down with his back to her.

"Kaden?" Getting up she followed him, wondering what it was that was wrong. "Wait a minute...did the two of you have an argument!?" She looked at Kaden. "Did you?"

Kaden merely nodded at his wife but still didn’t say anything just only sniffles.

"What happened?" She moved around the bed to sit beside her husband. "Look how's about we go and speak to Ariana together? I want her to come and live with us Kaden, it's best for her and I was looking forward to having her here."

Kaden just stared at the wall fixing the pillow he was resting his head on. “I didn’t want her to not stay with us if that is what you are asking...” He said softly.

“No that’s not what I’m asking Imzadi.” Freya looked at Kaden. “Something happened between you both didn’t it? Whatever it was don’t you think we should try and fix it?”

“Freya, I need to ask you something, are you certain there is no chance Dr. Hades is wrong? That is a one hundred percent guarantee that if we have kids they will be normal?” Asked Kaden.

"I...I can't answer that because I don't know." She looked at Kaden. "Is that what this is all about? Have you changed your mind about having children?"

Kaden rolled over onto his other side not able to bear seeing the look on his wife’s face as he nodded his head although it hurt him deep down that he was having doubts about kids. It was his dream after all to be the father of beautiful children but with the odds of reliving the horrors of his childhood this time thru them it was something he couldn’t bear himself to go thru again.

Freya's heart sank, their whole honeymoon they'd talked about having a family, but now here she was facing the prospect of not having any children at all. "But we...we talked about...." Her eyes filled with tears. She backed herself off the bed. "I....I can't..." Without another word she ran out of the bedroom and out of their quarters. She didn't really know where she was going, she just kept going until she suddenly ran into someone.

Ariana had felt someone in distress coming but she hadn't realised it was Freya until the two nearly collided in the corridor. "Frey!? What's going on? What's wrong?" She knew they couldn't stay in the corridor so she took Freya back to her own quarters. As they walked in the door she settled Freya onto the sofa and sat beside her. "Is this to do with Kaden and you having children?"

Freya simply nodded. Right now she couldn't face up to the thought of not having the family she'd wanted with Kaden since the early days of their relationship.

Ariana sighed. "It's okay, you just lie here and rest for now." Sitting down beside Freya she comforted her as best as she could.

Kaden just laid in bed not sure what to do other than cry he hated that he was a failure as a husband and even a lover. He couldn’t do the one thing a man was supposed to do protect his wife and now he was afraid to even provide her children. Kaden wasn’t going to lie he didn’t have Freya’s courage on facing the challenge of the unknown of a family whether their kids would be free of his condition or not. He did come around to the point he was ready to face his fear or so he thought instead it just felt like he was seeing his world fall apart around him. Only thing Kaden could do was just lay in bed and cry himself to sleep.

Ariana waited until Freya had fallen asleep before getting up and heading to Freya & Kaden's quarters. Letting herself in she marched herself to where Kaden was lying. "Kaden Ross!!" She didn't care if she woke him. "What in the hell are you doing!"

Kaden awoke and lifted his head taking a moment to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Sleeping...” He said.

"Then I suggest you wake the hell up!!" Ariana stood with her arms folded. "Your wife is in my quarters sobbing her heart out because you said you didn't want a baby with her! I suggest if you want to save your wife heartbreak and your marriage you get over there and sort this out!!"

“What do you want me to say? That I want to father freaks? That I want to go thru same shit I did as a kid all over again? That the woman I loved before left me with out much as a explanation why she left me really other than it wasn’t my fault that every time I ask her what really caused us to break up she refuses to tell me?” Kaden sat up on the edge of the bed. “Is that what you want?”

"You want me to tell you why I left you?" Ariana looked at Kaden. "Because of this! Because of you forever punishing yourself for your condition!! Forever saying you wouldn't want children because they'd be like you!" She stood looking at him. "Does that clear it up for you!?"

Kaden was shocked he didn’t know what to say or do he just sat there processing those words from Ariana but he couldn’t help but feel hurt his eyes tearing up. “So...it was my fault?,” He got to his feet rubbing the back of his head clearly trying to process this hard revelation. “I...always had a feeling it was all my fault...my fears always getting the best of me.” He walked over to the window looking out into the void of space resting his hand on the wall. “I wanted to give you children so...badly, Ariana, I truly did I always wondered if you thought I was afraid they was going to be half-breeds and honestly I didn’t care...to me they was going to be the best of me and you together. But the nightmares, I had when we talked about trying was too much for me I didn’t know what to do I know you sensed something was wrong but I always tried to shift those emotions to work to hide it from you.” Kaden looked at Ariana. “Sometimes I thought you was pregnant but couldn’t tell me cause of my state like...you was afraid I was going to abandon you I would never have done so I would tried to face my fear the best I could I would of.”

"I was afraid Kaden! I had a...pregnancy scare. I thought I was pregnant with our baby but I wasn't but it proved to me how scared I was you'd leave me! I couldn't live with that." She sighed and rubbed her bump. "Are you going to sit there and talk to me or are you going to go and talk this through with Frey? She's upset and scared just like I was, don't make the same mistake twice Kaden go and talk it through with her. I'll stay here until you're done." She stepped forward and kissed him on the lips. "That's for old times and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

Kaden took her hands into his and rested his forehead on hers. “Ariana...it’s okay I am glad you finally mustered the courage to tell me and to be honest I need to tell you that I still love you that I would gladly take you back in heart beat. Make love to you again like I used to even raise that baby growing inside you as my own.” He smiled just thinking about Freya. “Freya and you both are so much alike and I love it I don’t ever want to lose either one of you.” Kaden cleared his throat. “I’ll go talk to her in the meantime I want you to still come live with us.”

Ariana smiled. "I'd like to live with you both, now go and talk to Frey. Help her to understand I'll stay here and give you some privacy." She let go of his hands. "She needs you, and if you'd be so willing to raise my baby if you were able there's nothing stopping you from raising one of your own! Now get going!"

Kaden nodded and cleared his throat mustering the courage and composing himself on finding the right words to say as he left Ariana behind to head to her quarters. He thought about just walking in but wanted to be sure if Freya wished to talk to him so instead he pressed the chime waiting for her to tell him to go away.

Freya had sensed Kaden's arrival from where she was now sitting on Ariana's sofa. "Come in!" As he walked in she looked at Kaden with puffy, red eyes. "I'm guessing Ariana sent you?"

“Yeah...” Kaden replied as he sat down on the couch next to his wife unsure if she wanted him anywhere near her right now. “I messed up again I know, I really suck at this husband thing it seems. Always doing and saying things that wind up hurting you I know my dad said it takes time and patience to make it work. But I guess I just seem to let one thing after another get in the way of things between us.”

"I just...need you to tell me the truth Kaden!" Freya looked at her husband. "Will you or will you not have a family with me? Our whole honeymoon we talked about having kids and you never said anything about not wanting a baby! I need to know Kaden!!"

Kaden repostioned himself to face his wife better as he took her hands into his. “Of course I do want a family with you I would be happy to have my son or daughter growing inside your belly,” He sighed as he lowered his head. “But the truth is all that progress we went thru all those little unoffical sessions we had together after Ariana left me to help me feel confident in wanting children just suddenly went to hell. Ever since you told me what Hades said about them possibly having my condition feels like I been kicked in the face all that hope and confidence I had thanks to you just...gone suddenly. Then the revelation that someone hurt you forced them-self on you makes me feel like a complete failure as a man like I am nothing that my entire world is falling apart now it am lost and scared, Frey.” Kaden couldn’t help but break down crying.

“Kaden don’t...please!” Freya gently moved closer to her husband and cradled his head against her chest. “Doctor Hades didn’t say it was definite that a baby would inherit your condition, he just said it was a possibility that’s all.” She hoped She wasn’t trying to fool herself. “I love you Kaden!! I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t!” She ran her fingers through his hair. “As for....what happened to me, you didn’t fail me, there was nothing you could have done. Neither of us was to know that it was going to happen! I need you Kaden and I always will.”

Kaden couldn’t help but sob some more burying his head in her chest deeper. “I am scared, Frey, I am so scared I don’t know what to do I don’t want to make the same mistakes I did with Ariana, but I am and I am sorry.” He began to cry even more wrapping his arms around his wife needing her love, support, and her strength.

Freya cradled her husband offering him her support, no matter what she'd be there for him. "We'll work this out my love, I love you too much to hurt you Kaden I'm sorry I've been so selfish!"

“No...no I am the one being selfish not you.” Kaden replied pausing a moment to wipe the tears away from his eyes. “If...if you want I will impregnate you right now.” He wasn’t really ready for kids but he had hurt Freya enough that this was the only thing he could think of to make up for his mistakes.

"What?" Freya looked at Kaden with surprise for a moment. "You...you want to...try for a baby now?" Her heart leapt, she'd been wanting this but she didn't want him saying it because of a guilty conscience. "Are...are you sure?" She sat looking him in the eyes her breathing was rapid both with excitement and nervousness. "If you want to then yes...if you don't then tell me."

Kaden shook his head as he pulled himself away and got to his feet. “To tell the truth, I would only do it to make you happy...for me I am not ready yet I am just...tired of messing up and you being hurt cause of it.” He confessed starting to cry again knowing that he probably just did it again, hurting Freya.

Freya sighed she did feel hurt and confused but she did her best not to show it as she walked over to him. "Let's just go home, Ariana will be waiting for us."

Kaden could tell she was sad but maybe it was best they not focus on the matter of kids right now. “Hey, good news, got Ariana to change her mind she wants to live with us for a while!” He exclaimed as he wiped the tears from his face.

Freya offered a brief smile. “I guess that’s good.” She couldn’t help but wonder why Kaden would want a pregnant woman living with them when he was so afraid of her being pregnant. “Actually I....need a little time alone. I’ll meet you back at our Quarters, tell Ariana I’ll see her later.” With that she headed out of the door and left him to head home alone.

Kaden watched Freya leave the way she was acting made him wonder what she had on her mind...even wish he was a Betazoid to see what she was thinking and feeling. Despite his concerns about his wife he opted to leave her to her own thoughts and clear her head as he headed back to their quarters to help Ariana move in to keep him occupied.

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