Fears of Fatherhood.

Posted on Mon Mar 4th, 2019 @ 3:44pm by Brigadier General Kaden Ross

2,052 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 97 - Cultural Exchange
Location: Cardassia - Marketplace
Timeline: Before 'Professionals Meet'

Kaden strode down the marketplace with Freya holding his large right arm as they looked at the scene around them. “I feel bad for what I did back there earlier, Frey, I honestly didn’t intend to be so...insensitive like that I love Ariana as a friend and all I just...can't figure out what got into me.” He looked at his wife. “You don’t think it is nerves or something do you?”

Freya was looking at the various shops as they walked the marketplace, she looked at Kaden as he spoke. "It's a possibility" She offered a smile. "You always seem to get highly nervous when we talk about having children let alone being around Ariana whose midway through her pregnancy.

Kaden stopped before pulling himself free from Freya clearly upset. “Frey, I can’t help it I just...worry is all.” He took a deep breath as he placed his hands on his hips before he started to pace a little. “I worry that something bad is going to happen like, me winding up dead like John was not able to see or watch my son or daughter grow up to become the person they are or worse...” Kaden sighed as he shook his head. “I just don’t know how Ariana does it keeps going knowing the father or that poor kid she is having will never...will never...” Feeling weak in his legs suddenly he took a seat on an empty stone bench.

“Will never see his or her father” Freya nodded as she walked over to him. “It scares me every time you go off on an assignment with the marines but that wouldn’t stop me having a baby. At least Ariana has that part of Jonathon growing inside her, a part she’ll always have. If I lost you I’d lose you completely, all I’d have is memories. I want to have a child that’s part of you too, that’s part of both of us.”

Kaden shook his head as he sat up. “No no no, I mean...what if I lose you and the child both? I don’t know if I can go on without you, Frey. I know I lean on you a lot since we fell in love because you are the strong one in our relationship and you always was happy to be the strength for both of us. You are the fire in my soul the center of my universe without you I would have nothing to keep me going. I doubt there would be another woman who gives me the time of day like you have I would be alone and it scares me. It scares me that I could lose you even and be stuck alone with our kid unsure how I can go on without ever seeing or touching you ever again.”

"What makes you think you'd lose me? I'm not ill and pregnancy is generally pretty safe unless you have complications but Starfleet has some of the most advanced medical equipment and methods. I'd be fine."

Kaden shook his head as he couldn’t help but just sit down on the grass feeling weak in the legs. “Don’t mean you could be shot or even be at a medical facility when you go in labor. You don’t think I worry about things like that? I do all the time, in our line of work not everything goes according to plan.”

"I know that." Freya sat down beside him feeling more and more deflated by the moment. "You really don't want us to have children do you?"

“I didn’t say that,” Kaden sighed as he realized something before feeling defeated. “I don’t have to do I? My actions say it for me...your husband is a coward cause he doesn’t want lose you even if it means no kids...” He turned away from Freya so she didn’t have to see him cry like a baby. “Maybe Zip was right before we left on our honeymoon...you deserve better than a big wuss like me.”

"I don't care what Zip said!" Freya sighed. "I just want the man I fell in love with....the one who was looking forward to married life together and having a family." She shook her head. "Let's just forget it, for now, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Kaden knowing he had upset Freya sighed before he wiped his tears off his face and placed his hands on hers. “Hey, don’t be like that I am sorry for upsetting you.” He placed a few tender kisses on her lips. “I still am that guy you fell in love with I guess I just need time and someone to talk to about it maybe Ariana or something.” Shaking his head Kaden ran his hand thru his hair before staring at the grass. “Guess I screwed up letting Zip get to me again like always...”

“Are you sure you want to talk to Ariana after what you said to her? Perhaps one of the other Counselling staff might make you more comfortable, although Ariana does know you better.”

Kaden groaned knowing she had a point his ordeal earlier with Ariana about her pregnancy was likely going to bite him in the ass. “So...you are saying I should not talk to her then cause she is also mad at me?” He pulled his hand away from hers and got to his feet smacking the side of his head. “I am so stupid...stupid...STUPID...”

“STOP THAT!” Freya grabbed his hand and gently held it. “You are NOT stupid. You are my husband and we’ll work this out. Besides Doctor Hades said that given your condition even if we wanted children it would probably take medical intervention for me to be able to conceive.” Her smile faded. “That’s if we ever decide we want to have children.”

Kaden looked into Freya’s eyes before taking a moment to compose himself for the time being. “You spoke to a Doctor about that? What do you mean by medical intervention? What exactly did they tell you?” He getting nervous as deep down Kaden had a feeling of dread sink in.

“I just thought I’d ask Doctor Hades about it, he said that your condition could make conceiving difficult. But he did say that he’d be able to help us if we were having difficulties.” She offered a smile. “I just wanted some advice that’s all.”

Kaden sighed in relief a little and took Freya in his arms albeit a bit nervous still. “Problems conceiving he said? It isn’t cause I am rather uh big down there, is it? Cause I never recall you complaining about that at all as you love it not to mention the gallons I seem to leave with you.” He offered a grin as he needed to add a little humor to help him feel better.

Freya grinned a wry grin. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your size or what you leave me with!” She gave him a loving cuddle. “You are perfect as you are and I wouldn’t change anything about you. In the field I’m glad to have you there to back me up, just watching people run from you just because of that muscle-bound body of yours makes me feel a very lucky woman!”

Kaden raised an eyebrow but he was feeling better at least for the time being. “Hmmm, well I do have to admit I do certainly enjoy having you at my side being my sexy wife watching those other ladies almost piss themselves when you show off those washboard abs I helped you make to let em know you will snap em like a twig.” He couldn’t help but look her over with a grin. “Not to mention how lucky I am you got lovely large, firm, perky...shall we say assets on you.”

“And those perky assets are all yours!” She grinned a wry grin. “You keep this up and I’ll have to get you a cold shower so you don’t embarrass yourself in public! Either that or we’ll have to get a room somewhere.” She couldn’t help but giggle.

Kaden couldn’t help but pull her closer as he stuck out his lower lip for a moment. “Well, I been meaning to go spelunking again see if I can find that missing treasure cove you seem to keep missing.” He raised both his eyebrows a few times with a smile.

“Hmmm sounds good to me” She grinned. “How’s about we go find somewhere where you can have some fun spelunking.”

The idea was getting Kaden excited as he grinned. “You bet, although some time I am going to show that Hades fellow that we won’t have problems conceiving.” However, something caught the Marines eye a tailor shop was nearby and he saw a few things in there that looked appealing clothes and blankets made from the finest Cardassian fabric. “Hey, before we go on this expedition what say we go buy a few things as mementos of our time here. You always wanted some new outfits for me and you to wear when off duty and add a few more things to your collection.”

“Sure why not!” She smiled and nodded. “I must admit those pieces do look pretty nice and I can just see you in fine Cardassian fabric.”

Kaden jiggled the bag containing the Leks they brought with them for things like this as both him and Freya always came prepared for a small shopping spree. “I could always use a custom made outfit to add to my wardrobe for certain. Then after that, we can go back to that shop you were looking at earlier and pick up something for your collection before meeting Ariana again if you are okay with that.”

“Of course” Freya smiled and nodded. “You know me I love a good shopping spree and besides I have my eye on a certain skimpy outfit in the other window.” She pointed to a sexy piece that was on show further back in the shop that could be seen from the window. She knew a Kaden would find it hard to resist with her wearing it.

Kaden’s eyes got wide seeing the outfit picturing her in it she was certainly going to look delicious in it but he was easy to please when it came to her, of course, he preferred her bare naked. He wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words to say it as it all came out as a mash of incoherent mumbo jumbo instead. Not only that he could feel all his blood start to flow down to his nether region per se which was leaving a rather obvious sign for Freya and others to see what he had on his mind. “Uh, sumferhumfer....” Before holding his hand out for Freya to take and lead him into the shop like Frankenstein's monster.

"Would you like a moment to cool off my love?" She couldn't help but smile as she noticed and felt how wound up he was getting. "I wouldn't want to embarrass you."

Kaden didn’t say anything instead he looked around before taking a moment to compose himself before clearing his throat. “No...no no, I am fine just uh...gimme a sec...” He undid his uniform jacket and removed it to where he was wearing his spider-man tee shirt showing off only his large muscled arms which he didn’t mind as it was better than everyone seeing his bludge in his pants as he tied his jacket around his waist covering it up.

“Much better” Freya grinned. “Now I suggest you don’t look when I go and see what I want to buy. I wouldn’t want to embarrass you any further.”

Kaden cleared his throat trying to be serious about the matter although it was kind of hard to be serious when he has a minor issue growing. “I will do my best.” He took her hand and led her into the tailor shop.

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