Face to Face with the past

Posted on Wed Aug 8th, 2018 @ 12:00pm by Lieutenant Commander Ariana Monroe-Wayne

985 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Episode 95 - Helping Old Friends
Location: Sickbay, Ariana Monroe's room
Timeline: MD 10 1300 hrs

ON:

Braxton, after saying goodbye to the wolves, had worked his shift. He'd fended off the annoying counselor Rol and had done just about everything to avoid what he was doing now. He found that his feet had carried him, after his shift, into sickbay and down the hall into the area where patients who were required to stay a few days were. He found the one private room that had held Ariana. He didn't want to be here yet part of him wanted to see the woman that reminded him of his Nicole so much. Maybe he could make pease and say goodbye to Nicole this way.

Sighing he entered the room to find her napping. He kept thinking maybe this was a mistake. He turned to leave.

Ariana awoke to the sense of someone in her room, she opened her eyes and looked to see Braxton just turning to leave the room. "Braxton..." she smiled as she sat up a little and looked at Braxton. "Please don't go"

Braxton keeping his eyes down turned back. "I came by to see how you were." That was a large part of it. He had always been tormented by the fact that he couldn't save Nicole. He didn't even remember much of what happened. One minute he was on the bridge of the ship and the next he was in the shuttle. The gap bothered him. It always had. Yet when he thought of it while he was able to help Ariana and her one baby he hadn't been able to help the other.

Braxton took the chair by the bed and picked up her chart. It was something to keep him busy. "Everything looks good. They say that they are letting you out a little later this evening."

"That's good" she smiled, "Braxton you haven't looked at me once... I know about Nicole and how much I look like her."

"There is that..." He tried to steer the conversation another way. "I'm sorry about the baby. I should have done more." A part of him, to be honest, came by to have her yell at him and call him incompetent. It was what he deserved wasn't it?

"You saved me & you saved my other baby" she looked at him understandingly, "from what I've heard we'd both be dead if not for you. I know Nicole was expecting twins when you lost her, I can only imagine how it must have felt for you to have to face that nightmare again."

He rubbed the back of his neck as he always did when he was nervous. Hades called it his tell. "She was just over three months along." His eyes wondered around the room as if he was looking for a way out. He was uncomfortable yet he'd wanted to make sure she was okay. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more." It was the only thing that registered in his mind. He still was avoiding looking at her.

Ariana quietly slid across the biobed and gently reached out a hand to his cheek guiding his fsce until it was at least pointed in her direction. She paused for a moment wondering if Nicole ever shortened his name "Brax.... look at me."

He looked up then struck by the full impact of her looks. She was Nicole in so many ways. He had a sudden urge to both press her hand to his face and to jump away as if he'd been burned. His eyes misted over and quickly looked away. Gently he removed her hand from his face. "I should go." There was a huskiness in his voice that told her that he was fighting hard to keep his emotions in check. Being part Betazoid he was able to shield his emotions but waves of pain still got through.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you" she could sense his pain, "don't suffer it alone... please let me help. You saved us now let me help you" she gently sat on the edge of the biobed and in the only way she could think she cradled the side of his head gently against her resting her chin on the top of his head. "Let it go Brax.... Nicole wouldn't want you to suffer like this neither do I."

He allowed himself one moment of this, one last trick to make himself feel as if Nicole was here. He pulled away gently. "I will be fine," he said more trying to convince himself more then her. He stood. "I should go. You will be released soon." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a paper. "These herbs will help you get stronger." He said giving the name to her. "They are available at the Bajoran shop." She stepped back but this time he did look at her as if memorizing every feature. It was after all his one chance to see Nicole again. He could almost change the colour of her hair in his mind.

"Thank you Braxton" she smiled warmly taking the note with the name on, "don't be a stranger okay? I want you there to deliver this one" she put her hand on the small bump she had, "I know everything will be okay if you're there."

He smiled and gave a nod. "I'll let you rest before they let you go...." He inwardly cursed himself as he'd almost said Nicole at the end. He needed to be alone and he needed to do something he hadn't done since Nicole's death...dive head first into some Romulan ale.

Ariana nodded and smiled, as much as she'd wished he'd have let his grief go she couldn't blame him for not wanting to. "If you need me... you know where to find me."

"I will." He beat a hasty retreat. Coming here had confused him more. He needed to just numb it all.

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