The first step?

Posted on Fri Jun 22nd, 2018 @ 12:02pm by Lieutenant Commander Ariana Monroe-Wayne & Cadet Senior Grade Marcus Mattson

1,955 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 95 - Helping Old Friends
Location: Outside chief Counslors office
Timeline: Day 5 1300 hrs

Markus had been pacing back and forth not far from his destination. He had never liked this part, he needed to go through the medical part of his transfer. He had gone through the physical part and his old injuries where going through detailed check up. What he hated the most was the mental part, talking to the counselor. He had been given a chance go on a week long mission. That meant he needed to get all his 'ducks in a row' sort of speak.

The cadet was tapping his chin with his mechanical finger and decided to bite the bullet. He headed for the door and pressed the PADD on the side of her office, waiting to be allowed inside.

Ariana had already sensed an extremely nervous presence outside the office door but had decided to wait and see if the person would come to see her willingly, she wasn't even officially onboard yet infact she was only in her office getting sorted out but she couldn't turn away someone who wanted help, when the chime rang she called “enter” and waited to see who it was that was feeling so awkward about coming to see her.

A last sigh left Markus and the door opened. Like a marine he marched in to the room, finding comfort in it. He saluted sharply and waited for her to address him because he felt he couldn't start this checkup.

“You don’t need to salute me cadet” Ariana smiled warmly and motioned for him to take a seat, “you’re Cadet Mattson... funnily enough I was just going through your file a few minutes ago. I like to be familiar with those I work with” she took a seat, “What can I do for you?”

"Mental evaluation." he said sharply, having hard time to get out of his Marine side. Instead of sitting down he stood at ease instead, hoped that was alright.

“Very well..." She quickly called up the personnel files she'd been going over enroute to the station as she recognised his face, "It's Marcus isn't it?" Ariana smiled trying to make Marcus feel at ease, “so how are you settling in aboard the Starbase?”

"I am being accepted well enough Ma'am." He looked at her and could see a beautiful woman at the other side of the desk. But that didn't help his nervousness.

“Are you always so nervous?” Ariana couldn’t help but feel his nervousness forcing her to raise her mental barriers to protect her own mind a little more, “I could sense you when you were outside the door, what is it that you’re nervous of?”

That question and statement told him that she was either extremely empathic and was speaking in metaphors or she had mental capacities in the EPS range. He looked at her eyes deeply and could see the distinct dark eyes. "Your Batazoid ma'am?" he asked, hoping it would steer the subject away from his nervousness.

“Yes...” Ariana sat back in her seat “I’m one of a small amount of Betazoids born with my abilities so I don’t get to switch them off” she offered the information in hopes it would encourage Marcus to open up about himself. She motioned to the prosthetic arm he had, “how does it feel to have a prosthetic arm? Is it something you’ve grown used to?”

He pulled his arm from behind his back and held it up, he moved the fingers back and forth as he looked at them. It took him roughly ten seconds to respond. "I doubt I will ever get fully used to it." he felt the shame about what he had done to earn the mechanical arm. He had been the one who pushed the training fighter to hard and face planted it in to the desert. It had cost him dearly.

“I read the report about what happened, we all make mistakes Marcus” she motioned for him to sit down once again, “the important thing is that we learn from our mistakes and don’t let them happen again. There’s no shame in what happened it doesn’t need to hang over you.”

"Ever face-planted a fighter in the desert?" he asked calmly, he had heard this argument before from other counselors, but he never felt the same way. It might have been a mistake but because of him, several students had dropped out of the academy, fearing having him in the same vacinity as them. That was a mark of shame for him.

“No I can’t say I have” She shook her head, “but you can’t blame yourself forever more, from what I recall from your file you lost your arm and you had to remove it yourself I think anyone would agree that it’s punishment enough” she offered a brief smile, “You have your whole career ahead of you and you’ve learned an important lesson what’s important is you learn from it.”

She was very well informed, she had her points but even if what she said had merits. That didn't mean that understanding that his personality of going to far might be surfacing and cause worse damage. The damage to his body was nothing to him, it had it's up and downs. But what affects him the most is the fact that others were affected by it. Including the girl that he liked, he had never really confessed to her but after the accident at the hospital he found a card from her. Telling him her good byes. He never saw her again after that.

Ariana looked at him curiously, “I think there more to this than you’re telling me Marcus, I’m here to help & you obviously want help or you wouldn’t be here” she smiled warmly before getting out of her seat to go and grab a small cushion to put behind her back as she sat back down again. “You don’t have to tell me now if you don’t want to but I’d suggest coming back when you feel ready.”

He looked at her with a strange look on his face when she got the cushion, wondering what she was doing. As a pilot he had the need to process what he had seen fast in excellent clarity. Images popped up in his head; How she was walking, the very slight lump on her stomach and how she was carrying a child how her skin looked. All these details were slight and he hadn't noticed them before he got the cushion idea. She was pregnant and that flipped a switch in his mind, he instantly lost the marine posture, walked up to the replicator.

"Markus dietary snack selection 1A." he ordered and a tray with two tall glasses and several bowls with different items in them. The two glasses had citrus juice and milk in them. The bowls contained a large selection of foods. Hot sweet potatoes, peanuts, salmon, eggs, broccoli, pieces of chicken meat, a pill with fish liver oil, strawberries, a bar of whole grains, half an avocado and a large bowl of dried peaches. Each bowl wasn't large so that all the items could be eaten without difficulty.

"Don't forget to drink plenty of water." the marine said and placed the tray before her.

Ariana couldn’t help but smile, she was impressed by how observant the young man before her was “Now you relax..” she grinned, “looks like I just found the key to unlocking your nerves Cadet.”

The fact hit him like a ton of bricks, his need to help a woman had easily snapped him out of his nervousness. Figuring his respect for women was so strong that he went in to overdrive to help her in anyway he could. She had a great smile too but the smile turned in to a grin and that made him nervous. Not to mention that she was smart enough to figure out how to capitalize on his respect for women. "Ehm..." he was not sure what to do or say, feeling that if he did anything he could probably be digging a deeper hole.

Ariana sensed a sudden discomfort her smile fading, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable I do appreciate this..” she motioned to the tray of food & taking a bite of some of the fruit, “Perhaps I should let you go for today and I’ll tuck into all of this” she smiled warmly.

"Yes ma'am. Congratulations to you and the father." Markus said and saluted.

Ariana nodded, “If I could pass that long I would Cadet... but thank you” she took a sip of the glass of milk, “before you go I want to see you again for a follow up appointment okay?”

'If I could?' he thought to himself. He did notice her eyes being slightly puffy and red under them. Telling him that she had cried and considering that she was very early in her pregnancy, the loss must have been quite recently. Or it was simply her hormones and she had found a donor to get her pregnant. He didn't like the idea of returning if it meant to talk about his past. But she was quite beautiful, the fact that she was expecting only made her more beautiful in his book. "Only if we don't talk about me..."

"The whole idea is actually to talk about you" she smiled as she took another bite of the food he'd provided for her. "However... If it helps we can take it in turns but that's for next time okay?"

This woman was like a magician. He had only come here because he had to in order to be cleared for flying. But she was smart enough to see through him, he couldn't out maneuver her. Narrowing his eyes slightly. "Fine, but you must promise you will have one of those a day to get all the nutrients, vitamins and so on for you and the child." he had studied quite a bit about how to properly care for a pregnant woman. Of course that included far more than just supplying her with the proper food. But he couldn't exactly say; I'll massage your feet!

Ariana looked at the Cadet in front of her in a curious way, he was a single young man and yet he seemed to know plenty about what was good for her in pregnancy but then he was a marine and marines knew plenty about taking care of themselves to stay fit for their roles. "Agreed" she nodded, "I'll clear you for duty for now pending further counseling sessions."

"Yes!" he did a little victory dance for a few moments before he caught himself. Feeling like a fool he snapped in to marine mode and saluted, standing full attention.

Ariana resisted the temptation to laugh, she remembered now why she loved her work. "You're Dismissed Cadet" she smiled.

He turned on his heel and marched out of the office. Once outside he sighed in relief, it had gone better than he thought but he had made a fool off himself to a beautiful woman. Eventually he shrugged, at least he hoped he had made her day better in some way. He didn't like the idea of a woman crying.

Sitting at her desk Ariana signed off on Marcus' report before tucking into the food he'd given her, under normal circumstances she might even have been attracted to him but she was mourning her husband and even though she'd promised him she'd move on she wasn't going to be ready anytime soon.

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