Meditation and Mind Melds

Posted on Sat Dec 17th, 2016 @ 5:21pm by Commander Hades,MD & Lieutenant Shrivol Thr'elanon
Edited on on Sat Dec 17th, 2016 @ 5:21pm

2,090 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 93 - Warrior VS Warrior
Location: Promenade Replimat
Timeline: MD 05 Early Morning

[ON]

Shrivol and Hades left the morning meditation seminar without incident. In fact they were extremely quiet. He was recalling their earlier conversation about the shared dream.

"It was a good seminar." Shrivol said, mostly to break the silence.

Hades gave a nod. "Yeah. It was good. I'm not used to the chant meditations but it was relaxing. Sound is good for relaxing tension." He chanced a look at Shrivol. "Drink at the replicators?"

"Yes that sounds wonderful." Shrivol said sounding a little more cheerful. They walked to the promenade to the replimat. "Klingon blood wine." He said to the computer. "How about you?"

"Peppermint tea." Hades felt hopeful. They seemed to be returning to their old rapport. Both men went to sit down and they drank their drinks in silence.

Having talked about their shared dream Hades decided to start the conversation.

Hades took a deep breath. “When I married Myst I loved her. Not as one lover should love another, not as a husband should love wife, but as a friend. She was in love with me. When she got pregnant I knew it couldn’t be mine. The dates were off and I knew she was in love with Kor. Nonetheless I was happy and I told her that if he’d come out with Klingon head ridges I would love him still as my son. She was happy, I was falling in love with a fellow junior professor at the academy. The night the shuttle went down I was about to send a message and tell Aiden how I felt. I was about to call him and then I got the call and I felt like the accident was my fault for even contemplating an affair even though Myst was having her own.”

Shrivol listened intently. Only taking sips when Hades paused.

He continued, “I shut down, then this…living death happened and I didn’t think about things. I didn’t think, I didn’t want, I didn’t feel not until I came here. I started making friends, talking to people again laughing and it was….emotion overload.” He took a sip of his tea.

Hades sighed. "I should tell you about the pool. At the pool, you dragged me to the wall and I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t keep up that I lost what I once was but it was more than that. You tried to comfort me, I….I can still feel you hand on my back.” He whispered with his eyes closed as if savoring and reliving the touch. “I wanted you. I ran. Your question of what’s really going on scared me. My feelings, my response to you scared me.” He licked his lips. “My words hurt you, you left and I was mad at myself for feeling, at you for I don’t know what.”

"I could have handled it better." Shrivol said as he looked down at the table.

“I avoided you. I was scared. Then the holodeck. Your wish to confront things made me laugh because I knew it was coming and I knew that just as I ran you would try and find out why. I know you suspected didn’t want to read what your feelings were.”

Hades sighed, “I asked you what you thought I knew what you were going to say but I sensed your hesitation. It hurt me. It killed me because I was unsure myself and I needed you to be sure. I gave it one last shot and then you said that you had theories and that you felt terrified that you were right. I felt hurt, rejected, unworthy. I shut down.”

Shrivol reached for Hades' hand "I wasn't rejecting you."

He ignored what Shrivol said. “Before you left you admitted how you felt but I wasn’t sure if you felt that about me or if you were seeing. S’rik.” Hades touched his pointy ears. I didn’t read you. I was scared to. I’m terrified Shrivol.”

Shrivol saw this was his turn. "I only see you, I can't explain it, I did have a connection to S'rik, he was my fiancé. He died in my arms, one of the few people to survive a transporter accident that formed, mostly. He died in my arms and left me...he left me a part of him." Shrivol touched his temple. "Then you came aboard, I am new here too. But you and I clicked, well more than clicked we developed and in the short time grew." Shrivol tugged at his collar on his shirt. "I am not comfortable talking about how I feel, most Andorians aren't. We are upfront and at times brutal. We have a past. I care for you, more than care."

Hades sighed. "I ..." He took a deep breath. He understood things more now. "So you and S'rik mind melded before he died. A bond kind of meld."

"More of a memory download, if you will." Shrivol gave an awkward smirk. "Apparently Andorian's are not the best candidate for such a procedure. He couldn't talk so wanted me to know how he felt through that."

"Makes sense." He smiled and caught Shrivol's eye. "I honestly am at a loss for words. What happens now? Where do we go?"

Shrivol swirled the blood wine in his mug. "I...I don't know." Shrivol said. "I know there isn't any regulation against it if that's what you mean." Shrivol looked at Hades. "You are concerned about S'rik..."

He shrugged. "I don't know." He said frustrated “Look I should get to the lab. Can we meet for dinner?”

"Yes." Shrivol said.

“Okay.” He stood and headed towards the turbo lift surprised to see Shrivol follow him. They were alone in the lift. “Halt lift.” The turbo lift stopped. Hades sat down in the lift. “Look this is new for me. I’m terrified and unsure. This has been… a whirlwind. I have this feeling like you need to heal and maybe so do I. As much as you abhor talking we need to do a lot of it. We need to figure things out. Can we take things slow?”

He saw Shrivol sit down beside him. He held his breath waiting for Shrivol’s response.

"We take it at any speed you want." Shrivol grabbed Hades right hand. "First I want you to know something." Shrivol placed Hades' fingers strategically to Shrivol's face. "I know this will be awkward and has a tendency to hurt Andorian's but...I want you to know what I feel and how S'rik would feel." Shrivol anticipated the mind meld.

Hades moved his fingers. His index finger rested on Shrivol's temple. His middle finger below Shrivol's eye and his thumb on Shrivol's chin. "My mind to your mind, your thoughts to mine. My thoughts to your thoughts." He closed his eyes waiting as the meld began.

Shrivol forced a deep breath as the mind meld began, he was worried he was sharing too much, but felt it was necessary. Shrivol's antenna lowered as his eyes became wide open. Shrivol let out a soft moan as Hades entered his mind.

Hades was careful. He was gentle and was adept at melds so he knew how to gently caress the mind. When he finished, tears streaming down his face he allowed Shrivol access to his own mind. "My thoughts and mind to yours." He let him see everything, hiding nothing back.

Shrivol could only let out grunts, soon Hades saw the transporter room, he saw Shrivol waiting patiently, soon he saw S'rik burned and bleeding in Shrivol's arms, he saw S'rik melding with Shrivol. 'Be happy, be open.' Hades heard in S'rik's voice. He saw the immense pain that Shrivol was in. The image changed, changed to Hades walking into sickbay for the first time. Then changed again when Shrivol hit Hades chest to keep his heart beating, then again they were in the holodeck and Hades was there in his gymnastic garb. The emotions and thoughts poured into Hades from Shrivol.

The images shifted and merged. Shrivol was able to see through Hades' eyes. The interest in Aiden, the life with Myst, the excitement of new love, the shuttle crash call, the divorce, the darkness, He allowed Shrivol to feel how hollow he had felt when he was catatonic, how he fought to come back, then their first meeting, their conversations, the pool and how much Shrivol's touch had affected him, the holodeck and slowly he brought the meld to a close.

Both men sat back taking deep breaths, recovering from the meld.

Shrivol wiped a bit of blood from his nose, he almost forgot how much that effected Andorians. He figured being trapped in a warp core hurt less. "I...I'm sorry...for loss. I think you might want someone else." Shrivol said slightly hurt but understanding.

Hades shook his head "It's all jumbled now in your mind. Meld effect. It will settle. Shrivol I don't want someone else I want you. I haven't spoke to Aiden since the shuttle accident and we were never together. It was a crush. I want you, only you. The question is do you want me." He asked taking Shrivol's hand and lacing their fingers together.

"If I didn't I wouldn't have...gone through this, I hate pain." He tried to laugh. "I want you, we go at your speed." Shrivol looked exhausted but he held tight to Hades hand and leaned in giving Hades a kiss.

The kiss was light and sweet. Both men stood hurriedly realizing they were holding up the lift.

When the lift started up again it stopped a few floors up. The door opened and Nurse Lin got on. Her smile was wide. “Doc Hades! Just the person I wanted to see. My friend A’dari is here she’s moved from Bajor to here. She’s a Vulcan history professor spent time at the Bajoran monasteries. I think that you two would be sooo wonderful together. Love at first sight.” She smiled at Doctor Shrivol. “Hi.”

Hades rolled his eyes. “Lin you have to stop. I’m not interested. Actually I….”

“But meet her. She’s amazing. I guarantee she’s perfect for you.”

Hades let out a frustrated breath and opened his mouth to speak but it was Shrivol who beat him to it.

"Nurse Lin. Unfortunately for A'dari Hades is too busy to date anyone right now, I have had to schedule a lot of lab time due to the Romulans and all that's going on and we are expecting the head of the Bajoran Medical Academy to visit us." Shrivol said sounding stern toward Lin.

Hades smiled. "Not to mention there is someone I'm interested in." His eyes shifted to Shrivol.

The Nurse looked from one to the other. She opened her mouth closed it and then at the next stop left mumbling goodbye. Shrivol and Hades continued on. "Thanks." He said.

Shrivol smiled and twitched an antenna in what could be equivalent as a wink. "Thank you. Although I think she likes to gossip..."Shrivol paused as he grabbed the turbolift wall. "...I am sure it will be known by all of the station by tomorrow."

"Halt lift." Noticing the wall grab he put a hand on Shrivol. "Are you okay?"

Shrivol just nodded. "Yes." Shrivol straightened up. "Just tired, mind meld thing. I also think that meditation seminar just hit me." He said as he smiled. "I forgot your shift is coming up isn't it?"

"Yes do you want me to walk you back to your quarters?"

Shrivol shook his head "I am good, just going to rest and get something to eat. Who knows it could be the blood wine." He said chuckling slightly. "Enjoy your shift, if you need anything let me know."

"If you feel worse call me, okay? As for Lin I'm sorry, I didn't think about the gossip side of things If you want I can speak with her."

"No just let them talk. They might need it, for moral." He gave Hades a kiss as they arrived on the level of sickbay. The doors opened and Hades left. "Deck 30." Shrivol leaned against the walls, he felt tired more so than usual. The turbolift stopped and the doors opened. Shrivol walked slowly down the corridor to his quarters.

Hades wasn't happy letting him go alone. He decided to give him an hour and he'd check on him.

[OFF]

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