Dark Confessions and shadows of the past

Posted on Thu Aug 4th, 2016 @ 9:26am by Commander Hades,MD & Lieutenant Shrivol Thr'elanon

2,098 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 92 - More Questions than Answers
Location: Sickbay
Timeline: MD03 2300 hours

[ON]

Hades had been out for hours, every now and then he fought his way from the hays of darkness and opened his eyes to the lights above only to slam them closed. With every moment his swim back to consciousness became easier

His breath shuddered out and then he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. A familiar voice. His eyes opened, took a moment to focus and then latched on to his department CO, and a man becoming a fast friend. He smiled. "I guess I'm not dead."

Shrivol gave a smirk. "No not yet, I prefer you not to die while I am on duty." he said with a chuckle. "By the way how is your chest?"

"hurts...did you get the model number of the shuttle that ran into me?"

"Yes, it was a brutish Andorian doctor trying to get your heart to keep beating. I understand I can be difficult to work with but trying to die is a bit overboard." Shrivol said, a mix of seriousness and jovial. He checked her readings. "I am sorry I broke a rib, but it was the quickest solution."

Hades chuckled and then gave a groan. "No problem." She tried to sit up. "Well I should get back to work. I have three appointments and I should check on Ms. Deborah...then there is Lai'lira..."

Shrivol's hand went on Hades shoulder and held him in place. "I believe you will find all your appointments will be taken care of. I will take care of them all and you will rest and hear complaints of the grumpy blue doctor from all your patients when you return." Shrivol put a stern tone into his voice. He was curious about the way he said a name.

Hades fell back on the bio bed and sighed. "Shrivol." It had been the first time he'd used the CMO's first name. "I need to do some work. I have been dead for a year. I can't risk it happening again."

Shrivol's antenna contorted into a curious gesture. "Hades, what do you mean you have been dead for a year?"

He sighed. "Are you sure you want to hear my dark confessions and see the shadows of my past?"

"Of course I do. Only if you want to share it." Shrivol's tone turned into a more tender sound.

He sighed. Perhaps it was time to let the chips fall where they wanted. "Just over a year ago... about 14 months ago, my wife was about 3 months pregnant. I...I was excited about being a father." He smiled sadly. "She went on a shuttle trip to the Mars colony with a friend and there was an accident on the way back. I was called in the middle of the night. I couldn't think...I couldn't breath. When I got to the ER they told me the baby didn't make it. I was devastated. Myst wasn't too bad and recovered quickly. She got out of the hospital about a month later. I had at that point found out that my father was to blame for the shuttle accident. He didn't like the fact that I'd married an Andorian. Myst left me the day after she got out. She told me that the baby wasn't mine, it was from a Klingon diplomat. She'd been having an affair with him for a long time and she wanted to marry him. With everything, the divorce, I was a mess."

Shrivol didn't say anything, how could he. He let his antenna show the compassion.

He went on. "I had stopped eating well, and barely made it through the days then one day....I was making breakfast. I remember eating...washing the dishes and then nothing. My sister tells me they'd tried to reach me for days. When they found me I was unconscious had been for days. I woke up a month and a half later with a nurse and doctor by my side on Vulcan. My sister had requested a sabbatical in my name not wanting Starfleet to know what was happening. I was awake at that point but I didn't move, barely fed, just stared at a spot on the wall. It was like that for six months, my brother and sister fed me, washed me, sat with me, the man who was dead yet alive. Six months after that my neighbour on Vulcan got sick. I snapped out of whatever held me and nursed him back to health. I was alive, eating, taking care of myself until I was sure he was well. When he was well I lay down to sleep and the next day I returned to my living death. It stayed that way until once again my best friend came and his wife had a medical emergency. She asked me to help her and I couldn't stay dead anymore. That night she almost lost the baby but I saved her, I saved her son. I lived again. Just in time for my transfer here."

Shrivol stood in silence for a moment. "Trust me I can understand pain, maybe not your exact pain because each of our pain is unique." He put a hand on Hades shoulder again. "I understand your need to work, in many ways I am the same way most doctors are, at least the ones that are worth a damn. Just give it a few hours please, you suffered a major injury. Your physiology is unique and it requires a bit of rest no matter what. Maybe part of the reason you went through what you did was you were alone, we care about you, we work together very well but we need you healthy." Shrivol was not trying to give a passionate speech just trying to convey an honest concern. "I can't have you injuring yourself or passing out in the middle of work. Let the machine do its repairs then you can go back to work." There was something in Shrivol's voice, a distant pain from the past that he didn't talk about, especially to fellow crewmembers.

Hades looked up at Shrivol. He took his friend's hand. "A few hours then." There was a silence. He'd picked up on something from the way Shrivol spoke. "It seems I am not the only one with past dark times to confess. It is the same with you, you know. You have quickly become a friend. I too care about you, my friend. What darkness haunts you Shrivol?"

"Thank you, I consider you a friend too." Shrivol's face changed and became more stoic. "We all lost someone, I think you should rest a bit. I should go check on the other patients, but I will be back." His voice cracked a bit. Shrivol cleared his throat, realizing that maybe he was breaking one of the most well known rules as a doctor 'don't get too close to patients or colleagues.' "Do you need anything, something to drink?"

Hades shook his head. "I hope that you will trust me enough to share with me someday."

"It isn't about trust, Hades, I trust you. I don't trust the pain." Shrivol said in a matter of fact way. "I lost someone very close."

"I know what it's like not to trust the pain. I am scared stiff that I'll fall asleep tonight and wake up catatonic again. But...Talking with Dr. Sage will help me through this...telling you has lightened the burden. You allowed me your ear, you listened, let me pour out my pain. Now I wish to help you through it."

"It's pain, what can I say everyone on this station has it, everyone lost someone. Mine was my fiance, they was a transporter accident." Shrivol said, sounding as though he was reciting facts from a text book.

"I'm so sorry Shrivol. How long ago?"

"Nine years ago." he said almost in a whisper.

Hades patted Shrivol's hand. "I am so sorry you went through that. I take it you were there."

"Yes, right in front of me. We were getting ready for shore leave to celebrate my first assignment as Chief Medical officer." Shrivol said "Timed it to visit Andoria."

Hades could feel the pain radiating from the man. His eyes filled with tears for Shrivol. "That's why you avoid getting close to people. It's a way to protect yourself from that kind of pain. " He thought for a moment. There was an old saying that was common both on Vulcan and Andor. "Your pain is my pain." It was what one brother said to another. He now said it to Shrivol they were brothers in their pain they were brothers in medicine and he hoped that the Andorian knew that this shared pain now linked them even further.

"It helps being a physician to have a respectful distance. It also helps being Andorian, I am told we are...well distant." Shrivol said not sure if being distant with people was a flaw or a virtue.

"Why do I get the feeling you blame yourself?"

"I blame that I was rushing the trip." Shrivol was half lost in thought. "See, I wanted to see his family, his father was a Vulcan diplomat of relative importance and his mother was a human doctor. His parent's supported us, and didn't mind that I was Andorian." Shrivol admitted more than he expected, especially to someone that he had recently met.

Hades sighed. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault for wanting to meet his parents, nor did your excitement for that event draw this tragedy." Hades sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Shrivol. You loved him and he loved you. Nothing you did, or wanted to happen brought about this tragic accident." He placed a hand on Shrivol's shoulder. "It was a tragedy and one that left a scar but I know you can fight your way back from this. As far as respectful distance and Andorian's being distant...well that's a defense mechanism. Don't lock yourself away. I can see the beautiful soul in there my friend. It's time to step out of the shadows of past pain and into the light of a brand new day. Nine years is a long time to exist without really living."

"Since then I have done my best to. Work has become my life, one reason I filed for transfer to 400 was to live more than I have just hoping from position to position." Shrivol gave a half smile "And I think we both can learn from your El Aurian advice and live. You, my dear Doctor, can live by resting a bit." One of his antenna lowered in what could be understood as equivalent as a wink in other cultures.

He laughed. "Do you want to know a secret. We El Aurians are listeners, advice givers...we just have trouble following our own wisdom." He laid back down. "Alright Doctor. You win this round. I will rest...I do have a question."

"Well as the Borg say resistance is futile." Shrivol said with a slight chuckle. "Go ahead and ask."

"The fact that I'm a patient here does that mean that I get to complain about the food?"

"Yes and you can complain to the cook." He said motioning to the replicator. "I will be here for a few more hours, I will make sure you rest. If you need anything let me know." Shrivol lowered the light level around Hades biobed and gave a smile before turning toward his office.

Hades sighed. "Shrivol?"

"Yes?" He said with a concerned smile. "What's wrong?"

"I...I'm tired but I'm afraid that if I fall asleep I will slip back into darkness."

Shrivol wasn't quite sure what to say. "Well thankfully for you, you have a doctor who will never let that happen." Shrivol wondered how many rules he was going to break. "I promise we won't let that happen, I will be right here."

Hades gave a nod. "Thank you." His eyes drifted closed and a restless sleep claimed his weary soul.

Shrivol looked back at Hades before going back to his office. He sat down at his desk and thought about the condition Hades suffered from after his wife died. Hades was different, physiology speaking, it was rare that an El Aurian and a Vulcan mated. He wondered if that combination could have caused the condition Hades suffered from after the tragedy.

[OFF]

Dr. Shrivol Thr'elanon
Chief Medical Officer
Starbase 400

&

Dr. Hades
Assistant Chief Medical Officer
Starbase 400

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