Chasing shadows and letting go...

Posted on Sun Jun 18th, 2017 @ 3:28pm by Commander Hades,MD
Edited on Sun Jun 18th, 2017 @ 3:30pm

626 words; about a 3 minute read

ON:

Hades walked over to the replicator and ordered a hot chocolate with mint flavouring. He picked up the steaming drink after it shimmered into existence.

"Computer, start Captain's log USS Mercy, Personal log."

He waited until the computer chimed and dinged that it was ready.

"Hades personal log. This has been a trying time for me. Shri has withdrawn from command. He's been ill quite a bit but I think that he's lost the will and I just can't snap him out of it. I've been in command of the Mercy and so far we've come across scavengers, and are now heading to harvest a medical ship."

He sat down in his ready room chair and leaned back looking out the little window.

"The crew is unnerved and rightly so. It seems that the very shadows of history chase us." Hades sipped his hot chocolate, "I find that I haven't slept since this mission started, I barely eat, and I feel as if, at times, my heart will beat out of my chest. I don't care about myself, it's the crew. I worry about my crew. They are tired, overworked, and on edge."

He stood up and walked over to the window. "I am grateful that we have an escort now. I just want to finish our task and get back to the station."

Hades thought a bit, "I am contemplating holding a dinner for the Mercy crew as a thank you for all that they are doing."

Hades walked back to the desk, sipped his drink, replaced it on the table and then moved over to the sofa in the office. "I have had time to speak with Braxton. The station is doing well, the medical bay is slow and the patients are recovering well. I still feel odd not being there. I feel that maybe in some cases, like the humans say, I am dropping the ball on sickbay duties."

A sudden spike of anger rolled through him. "I must confess I am a bit angry with Shrivol. I feel as though he abandoned me. I have been holding down the fort and he doesn't seem interested in the ship, the crew, or..." He swallowed hard, "or me for that matter. The closeness we once had is gone."

Hades sighed, "I try with him, I've spent many an evening talking with him and have even asked him if he still has feelings for me. He shrugs, turns away. I feel like I'm chasing shadows of love that never was. I feel like...he's letting go and it's heartbreaking. I am angry with myself for falling for him, angry with myself for not being good enough, angry with him for not talking to me about it. I just...I just don't know what to think."

Hades blinked away tears, "I'm so very tired, physically, emotionally, mentally. I tried again to talked to him last night and he just turned away. He tossed me aside if I was garbage and I feel... heartbroken. I feel it but cannot allow myself to dwell on it as I have a ship and crew counting on me. So for now, I will just stay lost in my work. I will not talk with him again. I can't take the pain of his rejection anymore."

Hades sighed and closed his eyes. "Computer close log." He drifted into a fitful sleep only to woken a few minutes later by the call of his coms officer. It seemed that they had arrived at the medical ship. It was time to go aboard.

Hades rose, splashed water on his face and headed out.

OFF

Lt. Hades
Assistant Chief Medical Officer &
Commanding Officer
USS Mercy

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