Hard truths

Posted on Sun Mar 8th, 2020 @ 7:35pm by Lieutenant Commander Carolyn Corrigan MD & Lieutenant Commander Ariana Monroe-Wayne

1,162 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Episode 105 – Evacuation
Location: Carolyn's Quarters
Timeline: MD1 0500 hours

Ariana arrived at Carolyn's quarters, having spoken to both Fal and Hades she felt more clear headed and wanted to speak to Carolyn. She was hoping she could convince her friend that Hades wasn't the monster she seemed to think he was. She pressed the door chime and waited.

From inside there was an excited bark as Rainbow heard the chime, jumping down from the corner of the bed she had claimed as her own personal space and waiting impatiently to see who had come to visit. Kicking off the bed sheet, Carolyn watched her newfound pet for a moment before she stood, yawning as she stood. “Come in!”

Ariana smiled as she entered and paused to pet Rainbow. "It's just me Rainbow!" She smiled as she looked up at Carolyn. "I'm sorry did I wake you?"

“It’s fine. Headache still bothering you?” She asked as she ducked back into her room, pulling on an oversized t-shirt over her pyjamas. When she emerged, Rainbow was lying on her back enjoying a belly rub. “As you can see she is an excellent guard dog...”

"Indeed she is!" Ariana grinned. "Actually I came to see you. I have a couple of things I need to talk to you about. The first is ... I'm pregnant!" She grinned as she waited for the news to sink in.

“Your pregnant?” Carolyn repeated as the fog of sleep dissipated, having to stop and replay the words to be sure she hadn’t just imagined it all. “That’s amazing news, congratulations!”

"Thank you!" Ariana smiled. "Seems I'm about five weeks. I was talking to Hades and he confirmed it for me."

“Congratulations,” Carolyn offered again as she headed for the replicator, ordering some fresh orange before glancing back at Ariana, “do you want anything?”

"Just a juice please" Ariana smiled politely. "How are you now?"

“I’ll be fine,” she replied as she ordered a fruit juice, handing it over and gesturing for Ariana to take a seat, “I take it Cameron already knows by now?”

"Actually .. No" Ariana shook her head. "I know just found out myself. I knew I'd missed my monthly but in all the hoo-ha with events on the planet it slipped my mind until I started feeling off. I did a home scan with the tricorder and then had Hades double check it for me." She smiled. "It'll be a nice surprise for Cameron when I see him again!"

“Well, even if he doesn’t know it yet, I’m thrilled for you both. I get a feeling this wasn’t your only reason for stopping by. Since you’ve spoken to him, I’m guessing Hades is involved?”

"He didn't send me if that's what you're worried about." Ariana offered a smile. "He told me everything I wanted to know, including about you. Hades thought he was helping you Carolyn! He knew that you couldn't have children so he made it possible that you could and then when you fell pregnant by Harris ... Hades knew that you're baby wouldn't survive unless he helped you again!" She paused. "He only did what he thought was right, he didn't want you to lose both Harris and your baby."

Carolyn was silent for a long moment. Helping, what he thought was right ... made it possible... “I guess I should write him a thank you note. I mean, performing medical procedures without my knowledge, lacing chocolate with fertility drugs, assuming I wanted to have a child, the lies and the manipulation... yeah, all perfectly reasonable...”

She downed the last of her drink and set down the empty glass. “Is this where you tell me I’m being unreasonable and childish?”

"I ... No, I wouldn't do that you know I wouldn't." Ariana sighed. "You've been friends with Hades a long time Carolyn, I just don't want to see that friendship thrown away! Tell me honestly, if you were given that choice in the first place would you have refused? Would you have given up your only chance to be a mother?"

“Honestly...? I don’t know,” she admitted. “I had resigned myself to never having another chance at having a baby. My engagement, Liam ... both of them wanted that life. Deserved it. Maybe I would have said yes please! Sign me up! But there was no choice. No time to think it through. Just like everyone else he went ahead and decided to do what he thought was best.”

Ariana nodded. "At least you have a part of the man you loved growing inside you, it was comfort to me when I lost Jonathan. At least when I thought I was carrying his babies, but I came to my peace with that and I have Cameron now." She paused. "Hell maybe I'm seeing things from my own point of view, but as much as Fal wants me to believe Hades is bad I can't! He's my friend and he's like a father figure and mentor all rolled into one.”

“This isn’t just blindly listening to Fal,” Carolyn insisted, “and I thought he was my friend too...”

Standing she looked around the room, seeming completely lost before she shook it off. “I should get showered and ready and head back to work...”

"You're still grieving Carolyn, you don't need to be rushing off back to work." Ariana offered a smile. "I'm sorry if I've said anything to offend or upset you, I just ... wanted to see my two friends reunited but I know I'm being unrealistic right now. I just want to make sure you and that little one inside you are okay."

“The baby will be fine,” Carolyn promised.

"What about you?" Ariana looked at her friend. "You know where to find me if you want to talk okay?"

Carolyn nodded. “I need space. Since we got back we’ve never even paused for breath. He deserved to be here, to be a dad. But he isn’t and I don’t really know how to do this. It isn’t like my family is a shining example. If it wasn’t for me he’d be here, safe and planning to retire back to the colony. And no matter how I try to think of it, all I can be sure of is that he was only in danger because of me.”

"Carolyn ... No! Don't think like that!!" Ariana instinctively gave her friend a hug before stepping back to give Carolyn space. "He loved you, and he gave his life to save not just you but you're baby! He'd want you to go on, to have your baby and to live your life."

She just gave a nod, saying nothing for a long moment. “Finish your drink, I’ll be a few minutes getting ready.”

Ariana nodded. Picking up her drink she sipped it hoping her friend would eventually find peace. For now all she could do was be there for her.

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