Some truths are harder to face

Posted on Thu Aug 29th, 2019 @ 4:02pm by Brigadier General Kaden Ross

2,002 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 99 - Exordium / Epilogue
Location: Arboretum
Timeline: MD01 11.45 hrs

Having sent Kaden a message arranging to meet him at the arboretum for lunch, Freya had already left Holly in the care of the station nursery staff so that they could have some time alone to talk. Not that she planned on leaving Hope there long as they didn't have much time left with her as it was. She had something she needed to talk to Kaden about regarding Andy and she wasn't sure he'd like it.

Having spent the morning writing reports and checking on his men he had gotten the call from Freya for him to come to see her for lunch. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was about maybe she was going to tell him they were expecting which would be great to hear. But some reason Kaden rather it happens after they got whatever it is that keeps giving her bad dreams taken care of, it was going to be not good for her or the kid not to mention him either. He entered arboretum surprised to see a lot of people there he placed his hands on his hips scanning the area for his wife.

"Kaden!" Freya smiled as she waved him over to a quieter spot further down the arboretum away from the busier main walk through.

Kaden was already starting to hate the idea of Freya wanting to see at the arboretum he didn’t like big crowds. Reminded him of that time when he was nearly trampled to death while on Bolarris 6 when Crimson Jackal Forces opened fire into the crowd of unarmed protesters. Luckily for him his squad mates was able to pull him out of the mess before things got too bad but it didn’t help him get the memory of seeing all the dead women and children caught in the crossfire either.

"Sorry I wasn't expecting it to be busy, but it's not too bad here." She smiled as she patted the picnic blanket, motioning for him to sit beside her. "Kaden I...have something to tell you."

Kaden sat down on the blanket resting his head on Freya’s lap taking her hand into his. “Hey I am still okay about having a kid with you I haven’t changed my mind on that it’s just I prefer we get your bad dreams under control first.” He assured her.

Kaden raised an eyebrow but kissed Freya on her hand. “Freya, why would say that?” He asked certainly confused by why she would say such a thing.

"Kaden..." She paused. "When Andy and I were together years ago he asked me to marry him, I wasn't ready back then so I refused! He didn't take it very well at the time, he wanted us to have a family."

Kaden sat up shocked by the sudden revelation as he looked Freya her eyes. “He asked you to marry him? So you think he went postal or something cause you had something to do with it?” He shook his head. “Freya...why would you ever think such a thing?”

"I...I don't know!" She shrugged her shoulders. "It's just....he seems to have a particular hatred of dark haired women. Maybe it's got nothing to do with me but it seems quite a coincidence don't you think?"

Kaden sat in silence for a moment giving Freya’s theory a little bit of thought. “Maybe you might be right but I would think he would understand that you both was young. You wanted to focus on starting your life and career maybe you just was happy at the time having the relationship you had with each other as it was then. I don’t know...I just know I am glad I treat you better than he did...” He trailed off before frowning. “Freya, I been thinking what you said the last time we spoke about the guy how he treated like more of object than a person. Do I ever make you feel like that?”

Freya looked at Kaden in surprise. "No, of course you don't" She looked into his eyes. "We've had our disagreements every now and then, I know I was a pain about wanting to have a baby but you've never made me feel like I'm an object rather than a person."

Kaden plucked up a few blades of grass with his fingers as he watched them blow away in the air. “I am glad to hear that, but just ever since you told me about the guy and of the things he did when you both was together I have been a bit more cautious of making sure I don’t do anything he did.” He rested his arms on his knees just shaking his head. “I guess I can see why you been so hesitant on talking about your past with me now. You wanted me to not feel like this, like I need to always second guess what I do with you wondering if I have done anything since we been together where you regret being with me.”

"I don't regret being with you Imzadi." She ran her fingers through Kaden's hair. "I knew the day I met you that you were the man I wanted to spend my life with, that hasn't changed." She smiled warmly. "The day we married was a dream come true and I've no regrets. All I want now is the news that I'm pregnant."

Kaden looking at the grass while he felt Freya running her hand thru his hair. “All I want right now is the head of the bastard that hurt you on a silver platter. I will rest easy knowing they are no longer able to hurt you or anyone ever again.” He turned to face Freya. “It don’t bother me that you didn’t want to marry your old boyfriend you had your reasons then like you did when you broke up with him. But like you told me I should not blame myself someone violated you despite I still feel I failed to protect you. But it is not your fault that man is going around seemingly taking his rage out on women that look like you it just solidifies your reason you left him was the best choice you could of made. I just feel right now till your nightmares are no longer a issue I will rest easy knowing that we are having a kid when you are free of them.”

"I know." Freya nodded. "It could take time and right now it feels like that's time I don't have!" She shrugged her shoulders. "As stupid as it sounds, I feel like the longer it takes the less time I have."

“Freya, don’t be so silly you need to understand Betazoids have a longer biological clock than Humans look at Lwaxana Troi she was able to have kids at a age where Humans have a extremely low chance.” Kaden rested his hand on her lap. “Take your own advice that you tell me stop feeling the need to rush things and just relax let yourself take things a step at a time.”

“Since when did you become a Counsellor?” Freya grinned as she looked at her husband. “I’d best watch out for my job! Seriously though...I know you’re right, I’ll stop rushing at least I’ll try to stop rushing!”

Kaden could only grin and shake his head as he turned to face Freya. “Hey, I only learned from you and Ariana you both are good at what you do.” He laid down on the blanket using his arms to rest his head on the smell of uttaberries filling his nostrils. “I ever tell you I love the fact you smell of uttaberries when we are together?”

"That's because I use uttaberry body wash, it's very good for the skin. You know my mother she sends it to me by the box load!!" Freya couldn't help but giggle. "I'm surprised she hasn't found a male version to give you yet!"

Kaden shrugged his shoulders. “I figured you were fine with me using the current body wash I get anything to keep me from smelling like I just got out of the gym.” He replied.

"I'm perfectly happy with what you use my love!" She leaned down and gently kissed him on the lips. "I love you Imzadi and that's never going to change."

“Well, I would hope so, Freya, without you in my life...I don’t know what I would do.” Kaden said with a smile. “So tell me, was he good to you at the start? I mean he had to of been before falling in love with guy right? Or you and he wouldn’t have been together for so long before things fell apart.”

"Things were good between us for a while" Freya paused to sip a drink she'd put out. "I used to ignore the way he looked at other women but it was when I caught him kissing one that things between us started to go wrong. I didn't trust him and he knew it." She shrugged her shoulders. "I gave Andy ample opportunity but our rekationship was never as stable as ours."

Kaden sat in silence for a moment he felt sad for Freya but also felt angry for much of a jerk her ex was. "Freya, I am sad to hear that you deserved better than him. Don't get me wrong Ariana will always have a special place in my heart and I cherish the time she and I had as lovers. But I wish we could of met sooner you and I." He replied.

“Let’s just say I’m glad I met you when I did. I might not have appreciated how lucky I am to have you if I hadn’t experienced the bad first.”

Kaden wrapped his arm around Freya offering her a smile. "Me too, but I thank Ariana for showing me how to properly love and treat a lady."

"Remind me to thank her when we get home." Freya smiled warmly.

Kaden nodded his head before clearing his throat. "Well, my mom and dad helped too just...well Ariana showed the more..." He trailed off trying figure how to word it properly. "Uh, physical aspects of treating a lady."

Freya nodded she was starting to feel a little like she was being compared to Ariana. “Do you...still have feelings for Ariana?”

Kaden could feel all the air leave the room suddenly realizing he may of made her upset. "I...am not sure if I should answer that I don't want to upset you but I feel I did, didn't I?"

Not waiting for Freya to answer he got to his feet and walked to the nearby pond placing his arms behind his back. "Freya, I won't lie to you I still care about Ariana but that is because she is special to me I mean she and I took each others virginity when we was young. But I want her to be happy I want her to be safe I am glad she is still in my life as a friend. Would I take her back I don't think so I feel that ship for us sailed long ago cause I am happy with you. I mean you are a strong independent woman like you should be taking life by the balls. I just didn't think I make you doubt my love for you."

"I don't doubt your love for me Imzadi" Freya cuddled up with him. "I just...I guess I'm a little over sensitive that's all. I'm sorry I shouldn't be. Forgive me."

Kaden loved it when Freya cuddled up to him feeling her pressed against him. "Well, let's not dwell on it anymore why don't we go eat what you brought for the picnic?" He replied.

Freya nodded as they turned their attention to the food.

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