The counselor calls twice.

Posted on Sat Jul 13th, 2019 @ 2:47pm by Lieutenant Commander Carolyn Corrigan MD & Lieutenant JG Ilan Rol

3,638 words; about a 18 minute read

Mission: Episode 98 - A Raid on Peace
Location: Promenade
Timeline: MD4 1245 hours

ON:

“Seriously?”

Walking towards the turbolift, Doctor Corrigan tried ignoring the counsellor as he easily matched her pace. Apparently unphased by the obvious irritation in her voice. “Is there a reason you are here, Lieutenant?”

He smiled, "A stroll on the promenade." He said. "I see you've been to the local wellness centre. "That is a fantastic start." He studied the contents in her hand. "Interesting. What goodies did you purchase?"

“Nothing is starting,” she told him, “it is Kava Root for Dr Reid. Sorry to disappoint... again.”

He sighed, "No worries then. I has just going to say how happy I was that you were seeing doctor Sage and leave you in peace but now that I know you aren't speaking with her. That is not an option." He smiled. "You and I, Lieutenant, will be great friends," he said stepping into the lift behind her.

“This is not friendship, it’s stalking,” she muttered. “I like the leave in peace option. So, what is on your mind today?”

"I read a great piece of literature recently." He paused, "Your file! Guess we'll be moving up your review." He grinned. "You, as the Vulcans would say, are fascinating and complicated."

“Will people stop saying that?!” She snapped. “Hades is complicated. And you already said yesterday you had read it. Why decide to do this now?”

"I wanted some details." He said as they exited the lift into the staff quarters section. "There are some...gaps and inconsistencies upon closer inspection."

“Such as?” She challenged, clearly not believing him.

"Hey Rome was not built in a day. We can meet tomorrow or the day after but we really should go over things...."

The rest of his sentence was interrupted by a loud thump and groan.

Pushing aside her irritation with Rol, Carolyn hurried around the corner towards the source of the noise, coming to a sudden stopped that almost had the Lieutenant crashing into her.

“Hades!” Shoving the small box she held into Rol’s hands, she hurried to Hades side, concern etched on her face as she knelt on the floor. “Hades, can you hear me?”

Rol hurried after her. He observed Hades who was pale and sweating. The green tint in his paleness showed through making his skin almost translucent. He was breathing hard as if there were not enough oxygen. Rol swore. He put the box and vile aside and turned knelt by Hades. Lifting his eyelid he studied the man.

"A....am ....o...kay."

Rol sighed. He'd seen this a dozen times. "He's having an anxiety attack." He turned to Carolyn. "Let's get him to sickbay..."

"No." The word came out clear and forceful through the laboured breathing. "B...bl...a....ck....bad......g...dge..."

It took Rol a moment. "Where?"

Sighing he looked at Carolyn. "Check his pocket for a black Starfleet badge I'll check the other pocket."

Certain the lieutenant knew something she didn’t, Carolyn nevertheless did as he asked. “Hades, talk to me, what happened?” She asked, trying to keep him talking and focused even as her fingertips brushed against something metallic. “Got it, I think...”

Opening her palm, she revealed a comm badge. The black in stark contrast to her pale skin.

Rol picked up the badge and tapped it twice. "Section 31 com." He said by way of explanation.

Hades' eyes seemed unfocused. He kept trying to talk through the gasps but nothing happened.

Rol sighed, "Just breath."

Within a few seconds there were footsteps and then a tall man with black and amber eyes rounded the corner. He glanced at Carolyn and Rol and holstered his phaser. "What happened?"

Roll sighed, "Panic attack."

Nivar looked at Carolyn. "Can't you stop it!" For a Vulcan there was panic in his voice and it came as a statement rather then a question.

“Does it look like I’m hiding a Medkit?” She muttered in exasperation. “Rol, help me move him, my quarters are right around the corner.”

Nivar gently set her aside and he and Rol lifted Hades. They walked the short distance to her quarters with Rol muttering just keep breathing." Nivar, for his part, looked worried. "This cannot happen. He cannot be having a panic attack."

Rol looked over at Nivar. "Why? He's been hurt, dealt with what happened on the planet, gone through Pon Farr, had his life change beyond what we can comprehend, so much change, so much good, bad, and hard to figure out. He holds his feelings close and it has to come out."

Hades sighed as his breathing slowed a little. "R....right...he....here....you.....k...know."

Rol smiled, "Sorry doc." They arrived in Carolyn's quarters and while she called for lights and got water they set Hades on the sofa.

“I’ll be right back,” Carolyn told Rol as she handed him the water and then disappeared into her room. She quickly retrieved her kit from the bottom of her closet before returning to the trio.

Kneeling on the floor, opening out a medikit which was bursting at the seems, she pulled out her a tricorder and flipped it open. The man who had appeared almost out of nowhere before looked ready to say something and she shot him a glare. “Time to think happy thoughts,” she told Hades as she closely monitored his vitals, adjusting a hypospray so it was ready. Heart rate and respirations still too high, but beginning to move in the right direction. “You know, duty rosters, puppies and unicorns?”

Hades smiled feeling the tightness in his chest ease. He gave Carolyn's hand a pat.

“And who exactly are you?” She demanded, glancing up at the stranger. “In fact no. I can guess. Complicated?”

"Precisely." Nivar said.

While Carolyn was tending to Hades and Nivar was hovering like a mother hen, Rol took the opportunity to roam. There were a few things that caught his eye. One was a packed bag that looked like it was ready for a long trip and the other various scattered drawings. He picked one up.

On the page, a sketch depicted the view as if standing at near a window, looking out at the world beyond. The drawing incredibly detailed, right down to the little glimpse of the interior of the room itself. On closer inspection they all appeared identical.

“It’s impolite to go through someone’s things, Lieutenant,” Carolyn chided him as she helped Hades take a drink of water. His colour was beginning to return, slowly but surely. “Would you rather have tea?” She offered.

He smiled, "I'm okay." His voice, though raspy, was getting stronger. "I'm fine. This wasn't a panic attack." He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself or those around him.

Rol snorted as he continued to examine the images. "Sure and I am a Kriosian queen." He turned to Carolyn, "These are fascinating...something for us to talk about!"

“Give it a rest,” Carolyn snapped at Rol before turning her attention back to Hades, “so if it wasn’t a panic attack, what was it?”

"Indigestion?" he asked with a quirk of his lips hoping she'd buy it.

Rol continued to look at the images and then started studying her quarters. While he was not rooting for Hades to be sick the panic attack had left him with an opportunity to study his patient a bit closer.

Carolyn sighed, staring at Hades for the longest time. “If you say so,” she finally said, her voice quiet as she closed over the tricorder and tossing it into the kit. She had no energy to argue with him or try to force the truth out of him.

Climbing to her feet she watched Rol, whatever ounce of patience she had left rapidly running out. “If you aren’t going to help, you may as well leave,” she told him.

"Oh no I'm fine, he's had a panic attack and you both seem to be vacationing in the valley of denial." Rol picked up a notebook.

Hades stood, his full strength coming back to him. "Nivar! Rol. Out!"

"But..."

"OUT NOW!"

Nivar knew better then to argue. He plucked the notebook out of Rol's hand and pushed him out the door.

Hades sat back down and studied Carolyn. "I take it Rol has become a shadow?"

“I can handle him,” she told him, crouching down to force the medical kit closed again. “Finish your water and think those happy thoughts.”

If there had been a device to measure sarcasm, it would have imploded at that moment. Fortunately there wasn’t and so instead she hauled the kit back to her room and threw it back into her closet with far more force than was necessary. Closing the door she paused, taking a deep breath to calm down before she went back through.

“Are you sure you don’t want tea?”

He sighed, "Maybe I will get that tea. Peppermint."

Moving to the replicator, she ordered his drink. The smell of mint filled the air as she handed over his cup, “one peppermint tea.”

Letting him drink it in peace she moved to the table, gathering up the pictures so they could be recycled. “You should get some proper rest,” she advised with her back to him, “Rol is right. You’ve had a lot to deal with.”

He sighed, "Yeah. You have no idea. It's complicated." He stood and walked over managing to snatch one of the pictures before she got it. "You are a real talent."

Carolyn glanced at him, saying nothing before she picked up the rest and disposed of them. “Keep it if you like, I don’t want it,” she said as she ordered herself a hot chocolate. “And I hate the word complicated. If you ever want to talk, I’m sure I can keep up. Otherwise always happy to drink you under a bar. Or not.”

She glanced at her workstation as it chimed. Signalling a message. “One second,” she told Hades, “and no prying.”

He grinned, "You know me so well."

Accessing the message she quickly read it, typed a quick reply and closed the screen down. Rescuing her hot chocolate she took a sip before telling him, “Rol has your other comm badge.”

"The section badge...I wonder how he knew about that." He said sipping his tea.

“Because he is insufferable? What does it matter?” She demanded, “you have one, isn’t that a bigger question? But I get it... complicated. Just like your friend that came running. For a Vulcan he sure needs to work on his poker face.”

Hades walked over to Carolyn and put his hands on her shoulders. "It is complicated. I'll make you a deal. Give me another month and you and I will speak of all things complicated." He caught her eye. "Agreed?"

She hesitated, looking as if she was debating what to say and constantly changing her mind. “You don’t need to tell me anything,” she reminded him, finally speaking up. It wasn’t what she really planned to say but she was so used to not trusting that it was second nature. “So long as you are okay. That means you, having tea and then plenty of rest. Spend time with your wife.”

He smiled, "Yes I don't need to but I will. As I said give me a month to uncomplicated the complicated." He smiled.

“I’m making a drinking game for every time you say complicated,” she warned him. “And really, you don’t have to. I should warn you, I’m planning on taking some leave.”

"Oh?" He said. He hadn't heard anything nor read anything. Perhaps it was a good idea for her to rest but...was she? Was she resting or running away?

“Tomorrow, or later tonight if I can. McLintock, Reid and Mendez will all be around to help with anything so do not worry about the department. It wasn't something that I'd planned on.”

"Well first off I have to approve the leave. How long will it be?" He asked.

Carolyn hesitated, not entirely sure of the answer to his question. "A couple of weeks but maybe longer," she admitted. "But if you need time to rest and would rather I stayed, I'll stay."

"A couple of weeks maybe longer?" He stayed silent. "Why the sudden leave?"

"I wish I could explain it to you," she said. "I need to go home for a little while."

"I see." He said. The silence stretched so long that it seemed as if he'd not speak again. Hades stiffened. It really was none of his business so why did he feel slighted? "Fine. Approved. We'll be fine."

"Hades please don't," she said quickly, seeing how he reacted. "I mean it, I wish I could but a big part of it, I don't understand."

He gave a nod. "Alright. Send an official leave request. I'll approve it." Pulling emotionally away a little he took his cup to the replicator and materialized it away. "Thank you for your help. I should go."

"Hades?"

He stopped at the door and turned.

"Never mind, you have enough on your plate," she said with a shake of her head, sounding distracted as she stared down at the sketch lying on the table. "Make sure you get some rest."

"I'll be fine," That was all he said. To be honest she had been the only one he trusted fully with sickbay and now she was leaving. He wondered if she'd come back. He was frustrated with himself. He should know better then to trust and to let go and to relax. His whole life had been filled with entrances and exits and being tossed aside. He resisted the urge to shake his head. "I'm going to go now. Safe travels doctor."

Her head snapped up, eyes narrowing. His words seemed so final. And cold. Like he had flipped some kind of switch. "Excuse me?" she demanded, suddenly angry. "So if I said it was complicated would that have been okay?"

"I thought you were going to die on that colony, I made the hardest decision of my life trying to save yours, and when I asked why you wandered off, it was 'complicated'. Don't you dare act like some stereotypical Vulcan because I need to deal with my family and then maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to figure out what Vulcan has do with my dreams and these stupid pictures.”

Even as she spoke she tore the paper, not really sure who she was angry at or why as she stormed off into her room, glass in hand which, the second her door closed, she threw against the wall with a scream of frustration. Cursing Rol she sat on the edge of the bed, whispering “please, just go away,” when she heard someone still loitering.

Sure Hades had left she knew she was not in the mood for Rol.

Hades had left just as Rol had come back. For a moment Hades had thought of sending him away but a counselor was what he felt Carolyn needed.

Rol, who was at the door called out. "Carolyn?" He was already walking to the replicator ordering two cups of hot chocolate. He put one on the coffee table an sat in chair holding the other, "I have hot chocolate out here." He hoped to coax her out of her room so they could talk. They needed to talk, she did. He knew she was going through a lot.

“That’s cheating,” she accused, appearing in the doorway. “Is there any way I can make you just leave?”

He smiled, "Not for the moment. Let's try something. You sip your hot chocolate and I'll talk. You chime in if you want. Deal?"

Clearly suspicious, she slipped into the chair on the opposite side of the table. Taking the drink, she held the glass in both hands. “Deal.”

He supressed a grin. "Okay. I realize that you've gone through a lot and we are not going to fix this over night. I also realize that I never gave you a reason to trust me. So how about this. We can start by just getting to know one another. But I warn you. You see yourself as broken. I doubt anyone is as broken as I."

She said nothing for a long moment. Another person to fix her ... perfect. “I didn’t realise it was a competition,” she commented, arching an eyebrow and a smile playing at her lips as she took a drink. She glanced at the door, thinking of Hades and frowning.

“He’s angry,” she sighed. “And that’s before I yelled at him.”

He sighed, "There is a quote. It was said by Sarek of Vulcan a long time ago. 'When emotion brings us ghosts from the past, only logic can root us in the present.' Hades has a lot of ghosts, so do I so do you. I think we're all grabbing at logic to root us in the present. Sometimes you got to surrender to the ghosts." He studied her and sipped his hot chocolate. "He's not mad at you. He's... mad at the world right now." He sighed again. "Have you ever confronted your ghosts?"

"I'm about to," she muttered, taking another drink. Setting down her glass she sighed, "I'm going home to Dublin for a little while. I don't think Hades believed me that it was only for a few weeks."

"That's not on you, Carolyn. That's on him. He's been abandoned and left so many times he is scared he'll loose it all. Hell he still questions why his wife is married to him. The reason he's taking so long to announce it is that he's convinced she'll leave him and find out she's too good for him. He's not confronting his ghosts. A trip home might be helpful in confronting yours. I admire that."

"Don't give me too much credit. My grandmother knows how play me like a fiddle," Carolyn commented. "You'd like her, she never takes no for an answer either."

He laughed, "Well that sounds fun." He studied her. "I know I am annoying but...I just want to make sure you are okay."

"Why are you so worried about this?" she asked. "Surely you have more than enough people to worry about already."

He smiled, "I like having people to worry about. It's my way of keeping the ghosts at bay. Besides...If you're feeling better then just think I can annoy someone else like I've been annoying you." He gave her a wink.

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" she asked him with a grin. Studying her glass for a minute she added, "I'm also planning on going to Vulcan on my way back."

"Why Vulcan?" He suddenly got a mischievous grin. "That place is as hot as Hades." He laughed..."get it?"

“Hilarious,” she agreed, rolling her eyes. “And I’m not sure, other than the fact I have had dreams and in them I am on Vulcan. At least I think it is Vulcan. I just don’t know why. I figured maybe if I could find the place I might understand it. Or I’m now certifiable.”

"Both work for me!" He smiled, "Look if you go to Vulcan go to the Heldian Monastery by the Seleya mountain. Ask for Soberek. He can help. He's a monk there. When I....had my breakdown he helped me."

"In that case, to Vulcan monks," she said, raising her glass in a toast. She downed the rest of her drink, "okay, before I have to start getting things organised... you shared. So one question. Anything you like. Use it or lose it, Lieutenant."

He smiled, "Oh the power! How about I ask you two and you answer which one you like. The first one being why have you not displayed your art work before? You my dear an artist. The second being what ghosts will you face at home?"

"I don't display my artwork now," she point out, "you just happen to like snooping. And I don't display it because it is private. It is something that was suggested when I was a kid to help me process things, help me focus. An eidetic memory is amazingly helpful most of the time but it can be overwhelming. I took classes as I got older and now it is like a habit. But I would never display them. It is just something I like to do. A lot of them I destroy because they scare even me.

"I've filled hundreds of sketchbooks. A lot of them are back home, right up until I graduated the Academy. My mother barely remembers her own name most days but she'll occasionally go to my old room and look through them all and my grandmother will sit and tell her stories about them. It's something between us, if that makes sense?"

He smiled, "It does. Well. You have artistic talent." He finished the rest of his hot chocolate. "I should, however, be going. I have a concert to go to!"

"Enjoy," she offered as she stood, "and Rol? Will you make sure Hades is okay?"

He smiled, "I will indeed" He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Don't let the ghosts scare you. Remember you are stronger then anything life throws your way. I believe in your strength, Hades does too." He hugged her and then turned to head to the door.

"No pressure," she told him with a small smile, glancing at the time. She had plenty of time before she had to leave, yet so much she now needed to do...

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