The Long Night
Posted on Mon Jan 27th, 2014 @ 4:34am by Lieutenant Colonel Jillian "Phoenix" Sullivan & Commander Tressa Brislan
3,044 words; about a 15 minute read
Mission:
Mission 84 - Blockade
Location: Sickbay
The computer in Sickbay is very sensitive; aware of the patients' vital signs, movements, and voice patterns at all times. The staff are monitored as well (but not quite as closely) for signs of fatigue and stress. Even with the computer as a constant monitor and sentinel doctors are sometimes loathe to leave a patient. Phoenix had no family on the station and even though she had threatened Tressa the CMO spent the night in the room with her as her blood began being cleaned of the deadly toxin.
She watched the sleeping pilot and revisited the events of the day in her mind; what could she have done differently? The woman who said she would hit her was now unconscious and vulnerable; she looked so fragile lying there connected to the dialyzer. Tressa touched her face gently, wondering again how long she had lived with this pain. Was pain all she knew?
She sat in the chair that had been brought for her and leaned back. I hope a familiar face you don't like is better than none, the doctor thought as she drifted asleep to the soft whirring of ultrafiltration.
The nurse entered the room as quietly as she could. The dim lights brightened slightly as she glanced at the monitor behind the biobed; the patient's vitals were steady and her brain function indicated that she was still asleep. A small machine whirred next to the bed and two tubes showed the flow of blood from the patient to the machine and back. A countdown timer glowed orange on the monitor as well.
She moved quietly as she placed a mug of hot coffee with extra cream on the table next to the station's CMO who was asleep in a chair. The blanket had slipped to her lap so the nurse gently pulled it up to Tressa's shoulders.
"Hmmm?" the doctor said softly as she awoke. "Hello, Marisa?"
The nurse nodded. "There's coffee for you Doctor, she's still asleep. First round should be finished in ten minutes," she said with a glance at the timer. "Will she be able to eat then? I can bring something for you too."
"Liquids only for now, I don't know how her body will react to the chelation therapy," Tressa said as she sat up straighter. "I gave her the biggest dose that I dared. Computer, scan skeletal system for damage and density." The biobed glowed briefly.
"Bone density is in fourth percentile, fractures are showing new growth on third, fourth, and fifth ribs and the radius," the computer intoned. The brain scan reading showed a rise in alpha waves and Phoenix stirred slightly.
As Phoenix woke, she noticed her paralytic had worn off, but she was far from feeling safe. The muscle relaxer and the painkillers kept her too dizzy to want to move much. However, she was very nauseated and the need to vomit was pretty strong. Almost instantly, her body jackknifed up and Phoenix began to expel the contents of her stomach.
Most narcotic drugs did this to her, as they wore off, and it was something beyond her control. Jillian gave a weak nod to the person that handed her a bucket. She did not look at them not once as the symptom ran its course, but finally uttered, "Thanks," at the end of it.
Marisa gently held back Phoenix's long blonde hair as Tressa moved next to her, checking the tubing attached to her right arm. When the patient laid back the nurse removed the bucket and left the room.
"Phoenix, the first round of therapy is almost over, we've removed nearly eighty percent of the merilite toxin. Can you move your toes?" The doctor held each of her feet in turn, "Can you feel my hand?"
"I'm not paralyzed, if that's what you're asking," Phoenix gruffly answered as she laid back more deeply into her pillow. Sitting up made her feel more dizzy. "Tube ya got sticking in my stomach, burns, though."
"I am sorry I paralyzed you, it seemed to be the best option at the time," Tressa said, her voice sad. "Other than nauseous how are you feeling?"
"Hungover, tired, and in a lot of pain," Phoenix counted out with a flinch. She did not know what was going on with the tube in her stomach, but all she knew was that what ever it was sucking out of her, it burned like the seventh circle of hell. "Just.... Just don't treat me like that again."
Tressa lifted a hypospray so Phoenix could see it. "Fast-acting painkiller," she said before applying it near the chelation port. "I promise you will feel better by tomorrow morning, hopefully good enough that you will come back for the remaining five treatment cycles," she added, watching her relax slightly as the pain eased away.
"See... You gotta work on that," Phoenix spoke weakly with a waving hand between them. "Showing me, and then sticking me, is not asking for my permission... I don't like being experimented on."
"Experimented on? No one is experimenting on you Phoenix," Tressa said softly. "We're here to heal you."
"Then ask for my permission next," the pilot spoke half-irritable, half-groggily from the new pain meds kicking in.
"Chelation therapy is complete. Current blood toxin is two micrograms per deciliter," the computer intoned.
Tressa smiled with relief. "You tested at eighteen micrograms when you arrived nine hours ago. I don't know how you lived with so much pain, but you are a survivor, aren't you?" she asked, not really expecting an answer. She disconnected the tubes from the pilot. "Marisa, will you get some broth and fruit juice for Phoenix?" The nurse nodded and left the room.
"What happens next is entirely up to you. Without further exposure to the toxin you can live with two micrograms and you will have almost no pain. Or you can return and we can complete the cycle of treatments. Future treatments will only take an hour. Your body will never fully heal if you do not continue treatment but you could live with it." Tressa had given her a strong first treatment for a reason; she did not expect to see Phoenix in her Sickbay again unless she was transported there and unconscious. "You may stay here and rest if you want to, however you are free to go whenever you like. You should drink the broth and juice before you go. I informed your CO that you were in my care and that you will be on light duty for two days. Ah, and the uterdifficilis has been cleared as well but you should avoid alcohol for the next few days." She watched her for a moment, wanting to say more. No Tres, let her go.
"I'll try to stay sober for the next few days," Phoenix promised. She grew quiet for a long time. The doc raised a question about how Phoenix lived with her pain and it was not an easy confession to speak of.
While it was true she could leave at anytime, physically Phoenix was too impaired by narcotics to want to move out of bed. This meant she was back to depending on the doc and feeling obligated to answer that damn question again.
"I lived with this pain for so long because none of us in the prison colony trusted the warden or his staff," Phoenix spoke very quietly and distantly as she looked out the window. "Those prisons aren't the Federation you grew up in, and they aren't on official books. Traitors and radical politicians are sent to them to disappear, so what goes on in them is never spoken of as a result. But you can probably guess, by your scans, what horrible things were done to me."
The doctor sighed, lifting Phoenix's healing wrist and gently unwrapping it. "System scans, blood tests, medical files, personnel files.... they give you an outline, like a table of contents. You don't get the real story until you listen to a patient, ask questions and share experiences. Yes, I have seen your scans and read your files, but that doesn't tell me what you went through, or even who you are." She looked up and caught the pilot's eye. "Only you can tell me that, and only if you want to. I'm no counselor, Phoenix, but when someone is hurting I have to try to make them feel better. Because that's who I am."
"My parents ran one of the very first Maquis cells, though they were not called Maquis until after our first war with the Cardassians ended," Phoenix finally spoke, a haunted look in her eyes as she looked at her past. "Our planet was shelled so often that it became barren of plant life, and nearly eighty percent of our population died from the bombings or lack of food. A desert crater, now, really... But we fought on our own for nearly fifteen years before the Fed finally came to our aid, because up until that point the Feds saw our world as an acceptable territory to lose. So doctors were rarely about and surgery was sorta made up as we went, with little medicines or supplies reaching us."
"You were born during the war?" Tressa asked, putting a fresh bandage on her wrist.
"In it," Phoenix hauntedly corrected as she watched the doctor bandaged her wrist. "The Raxus VI Massacre, occurred when I was twelve. And the only reason my youngest brother and I survived our three other siblings, is because I took a shrapnel hit to my heart protecting him, and it was not a devastating hit."
Tressa nodded; she had noted the scarring on Phoenix's heart and midribs. "I cannot imagine being a child and living through war," she said softly.
"Yeah... well... Our gorilla warfare tactics weren't enough. And after the war, the Spoonheads never really withdrew from the colonies," Jillian spoke with a small hint of anger. "Occasionally they'd report technical problems along their side of the line, and secretly insert their special forces into Raxus to steal our precious metals. And the Feds ignored our pleas for help, stating the landings were for repairs only, but the death tolls rose still... Partly why I enlisted into the Marines. To learn new tactics to bring back to my folks. A lot of my Special Forces training, I gave to the remnants of Raxus. The Maquis."
"Did you go back?" the doctor asked as Marisa brought in a tray. She placed it on the table next to the bed and left. "Would you like to try to sit up? You'll feel better if you get something in you."
Slowly, Phoenix sat up and began to drink just as slow on her broth. It was a long, tension-filled silence for which Phoenix thought on the Doc's question. "Every time I got a holiday, I did... But it was business. I wanted to make my twin brother, my older brother, and my younger sister's deaths mean something. So I turned my parents' cell into a lethal, elite unit, because I wanted my kin to take out as many of those bastards as possible."
"That's a serious commitment, years I would imagine. A long time to carry so much anger."
"Anger is what kept us alive and focused. We used it to kill and capture Spoonheads the same way they captured us during the war. It made us into something that the Federation needed, once Sisko met the Vorta," Phoenix noted very soberly. "It carried me through the Dominion War. So you might say my kill sheet was almost as high as a seasoned sergeant's was, by the time I enlisted... And the Feds still needed my killing skills, when they realized they were short in pilots - The only reason I was let out of that prison colony, really."
"Did your brother join the Federation too?" Tressa asked.
"He disowned us all, for becoming terrorists of the Federation - Or so he claims we are," Phoenix answered dismissively. "He's got a successful career of his own in the marines, but he was too young to remember much of the Federation-Cardassian War, to understand why my parents an' I made the choices we did." Jillian chose that moment to drink contemplatively on her broth. She appeared impassive about her brother's opinions.
The doctor sat back down on her chair and drank her coffee. A quick glance showed that Phoenix' vitals were normal.
"Feeling better? Are you in any pain?" she asked.
"My vision is a bit impaired from the drugs, but I'm good." Phoenix sipped on the juice next, contemplating where to lead the conversation next. "I'll keep up the treatments so long as you promise not to stick me without my permission. It nerks me when people do that to me and it makes me feel helpless, an' that's why I threatened to hit ya. Cuz ya crossed a line with me."
Tressa watched the woman for a moment, choosing her words carefully.
"Phoenix, it's my job to make you better, and you required a lot of attention when you came in, but I cannot risk my safety or the safety of my staff. If you want to continue treatments, no more threats. If you want to come back you have to trust me," she said softly.
"There are faults on both sides, Doc. You continued to treat me when I told you No..." Phoenix looked hard into the Doc's eyes. "I can't trust someone that's not gonna respect my wishes, and that is why I threatened you and I would do so again, if I was put in that same situation of you pocking me against my will. So all I'm asking is for you to meet me in the middle here. Promise to respect my wishes and we won't have this problem again."
The doctor sighed; "Computer, what is listed as the reason for Major Jillian Sullivan's hospitalization?"
"Regulation 121 (Section A): The Chief Medical Officer has the power to relieve an officer or crewman of his or her duties (including one of superior rank) if, in the CMO's professional judgment, the individual is medically unfit, compromised by an alien intelligence, or otherwise exhibits behavior that indicates seriously impaired judgment. A Starfleet officer can face court martial for failing to submit to such a relief. (Section B) The Chief Medical Officer is responsible for treating all officers and crew who are deemed unable to make reasonable decisions concerning their medical care."
Tressa touched her hand gently, her eyes pleading with the wounded Marine. "I'm sorry I broke your trust, Phoenix, and I know that you are a good pilot because your record practically glows with awards but you need help. You have to know I'm not here to hurt you, not now, not ever. Counselor Delair has helped people with every problem imaginable; but if you prefer you can come to me, just to talk," she said softly. "Is there anyone in your life that you can just talk to?"
"You have the right to order me off duty, Doc, and I have yet to fight you against that," Sullivan agreed. "But any patient has the right to refuse your help, just as they do to pick their rehabilitation facility and alternative treatments from other doctors. And you are legally bound to abide by a patient's wishes, rather you like it or not. So yes, there is a trust issue here, one I'm trying to meet you halfway on, and you still refuse to work with me on."
Phoenix rubbed her temples in frustration. "It is legally called Assault, when a doctor ignores a patient's Right of Refusal and does as they choose... All I'm asking, is for you to respect that boundary. Why is that so hard for you agree to?"
"Because.... BECAUSE I CAN'T LET YOU DIE!" Tressa shouted. She was standing now, shaking.
"Doctor Brislan, your blood pressure is currently one thirty-nine over ninety-eight," the computer intoned.
"I'm fine," she said, struggling to control her voice. "Page Marisa please, to help with the Major's clothing."
"Yes, doctor."
"We'll get you dressed and out of here," the CMO said briskly. There were tears in her eyes. "If you have any pain when you urinate you should report to Sickbay immediately, your urethra is still healing. Do you have any questions?"
"Computer, belay that last order. I'm in no condition to move," Phoenix told the computer for which it replied back in the affirmative. With the fresh narcotics in her system, no doctor in their right mind would release a patient as high as her.
Phoenix then looked at Brislan for only a moment. Italian women were just as infamous as Irish women about being stubborn. Jillian respected that and decided for a different approach, patting her bed softly with her metal hand.
"I never intended refuse the treatments, Commander Brislan," Phoenix spoke, her face softening.
Marisa came into the room and Tressa turned to her. A tear spilled over, running down her cheek.
"Doctor? Is everything ok?" she asked.
Tressa's face reddened as the realization of what she'd done sank in. It was the first time she had ever lost control with a patient. She felt her stomach twist into a knot as shame overwhelmed her.
"Phoenix... Major... I am so sorry..." she stammered.
"It's still Phoenix, Kid. I hate ranks. But you don't need to apologize, Doc." Phoenix leaned back, finding the situation odd. She was never good at giving pep talks. "It's an admirable trait, to want to save lives. I just prefer more consultations." The pilot tried to make her counterpart smile by winking. "Trust isn't something I give out automatically, but it is something I'm willing to build with you."
The doctor looked at Phoenix but her words did not register. Fatigue, stress, and guilt created a perfect storm, and the ordinarily competent physician was at a loss. She backed away slowly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, then turned and left the room.
Major Jillian Sullivan
Commander, Air Group
Starbase 400
Lieutenant Commander Tressa Brislan
Chief Medical Officer
Starbase 400
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