Dealing With Loss

Posted on Wed Dec 12th, 2012 @ 11:20am by Lieutenant K`Wor

722 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Mission 80 - Outpost
Location: Starbase 400, Counselor's Office
Timeline: After the Party

ON:

Starbase 400, K’Wor’s Quarters

The Task Force had been back at Starbase 400 for a few days. K’Wor was in his quarters, laying in his bed, tossing and turning. He’d barely slept a few hours since returning from the Outpost to the Avenger. He couldn’t get May's death out of his mind. What’s worse, he still couldn’t get Adam’s death from a few weeks ago out of his mind either. Even the Christmas party didn't help much.

He had seen death before. His mother, friends, people aboard the Pegasus while he was growing up…but somehow this was different. He didn’t know if it was looking into his dead friend’s eyes as they took their last breath, or the fact he’d given the orders that lead to their deaths.

After getting up, showering, and getting dressed in a clean uniform, he left his quarters and headed for Security, but found himself approaching Counselor Dallas’s Office again. He’d tried to meet with her before the Task Force left, but ran out of time before they had to depart. Now…nothing was stopping him.

He pressed the door chime and waited…

"Come!" Dallas called out. She was not expecting anyone, but was grateful to have the reprieve from paperwork.

K’Wor entered the room and looked around for a minute before saying anything, “Umm..ma’am. I, think I need to talk to someone. I..umm, can’t sleep. I…I gave an order that lead to the death of a friend a few weeks ago aboard the Avenger, and then while at the Dominion Outpost, it happened again…”

The young man just stood there…he wasn’t sure what else to say…

Dallas' reply was immediate and gentle. "Please, have a seat. I'm glad you're here. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help, and I will honor your effort by doing all I can to help you." Dallas gestured for him to take a seat in any one of the many chairs she had in her reception area. "May I get you some tea?"

K'Wor nodded as he took a seat, "Yes, please, green tea please." He let out a deep breath, "Where do I begin?"

Karyn retrieved the tea and then parked her hoverchair in front of him. "Anywhere you like," Dallas replied gently. "I'll help you sort it all out."

"Well ma'am...umm, recently I gave an order that directly lead to the death of a crewmate. Then, during the Outpost mission, it happened again." The young man paused a moment. "I know it's part of the job, especially if I ever want to be a Captain someday...but how can I move past this?"

He paused again and took a sip of his tea. "I'm having dreams, I see Adams's and Mays's faces, the look in their eyes as they died." He took a breath, then let out a small laugh, "It's embarrassing. I'm a quarter Klingon, brought up around Klingon customs, death is a part of life. Both Adams and Mays died in battle, honorable deaths. Why is this bothering me so much?"

"You're a sentient being with feelings," Dallas asserted gently. "I'd be more worried about an aspiring Captain who wasn't bothered by this sort of loss. Good leaders feel the losses and they're honest about those feelings. Feelings serve as a reminder not to put others in harm's way on a whim."

"What do you suggest I do ma'am?" K'Wor asked.

"I think you and I should meet and talk regularly for awhile," Dallas suggested. "Nightmares reveal things we don't feel comfortable working through while we're awake, so perhaps if we bring your feelings into the light, you'll be plagued less in the dark. Think you could do that?"

"Yes ma'am I will." K'Wor replied. He checked the time, then stood up. "Can we continue later, I'm on duty in Ops in ten minutes."

"Absolutely. Come by after your shift and we'll get started."

"Thanks again." K'Wor smiled and set the tea glass on the table before leaving the Counselor's Office.


OFF:

(Awesome...sorry to rush it a little, but believe me, this young man is going to need some counseling. lol I'll post once the Party is over)

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