Cold Hard Truths

Posted on Thu Dec 5th, 2019 @ 6:15pm by Brigadier General Kaden Ross
Edited on on Thu Dec 5th, 2019 @ 6:15pm

1,360 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Episode 101 - Peace During War
Location: Ross Quarters
Timeline: MD02 2355 hours

Kaden found himself awake in bed in the middle of the night sweating after having had a bad dream again. He turned his head to his beautiful naked wife who was still asleep her bare breasts rising and falling with each breath she took. Kaden sat up removing his sweaty unbuttoned silk shirt tossing it to the floor. Before heading to where he kept his Saurian Brandy pouring himself a glass then inhaling it. For the next hour he sat in a chair downing three glasses and was on his fourth looking out into space in silence. Lost in thought over their unborn child wondering what fate held for him and Freya once he or she was born.

Freya stirred rolling over to find Kaden's side of the bed empty, opening her eyes she lifted her head she saw Kaden sitting in the chair staring out at the stars. Sliding out of bed she walked over to him, "Kaden are you alright?"

Kaden kept looking at the stars outside. "No...no not really." He took a sip of his brandy. "I had a bad dream."

Freya nodded as she grabbed herself a dressing gown to put on. "About the baby again?"

Kaden could only nod his eyes tearing up his mouth trembling as he was doing the best he could to not cry.

"Kaden...there's nothing more I can say than I've already said. I can't reassure you when I don't know for sure what the outcome will be for our baby. You just have to have a little faith that things will work out for us."

Kaden took a sip of his brandy. "What if it winds up like me? I know you are prepared to face it but I am not. I don't think I ever can, Freya, and it torments me all the time." He told her.

"I know it does Imzadi" Freya hung her head. "there's times I wonder if you'd be happier without me. When we married you seemed so happy but now..." She shook her head unhappily. "Being a mother is supposed to be a joyous occasion but I'm starting to think it's a mistake!"

Kaden set his glass down on the table. "I don't regret having you as my wife I am happy to come home to you. I just...feel like you do that having a kid is supposed to be wonderful but..." He trailed off.

Freya nodded and went to sit down on the bed, she truly wanted her baby but she was torn as to what she was supposed to do or how to feel about it. " I err... " She shook her head.

"Freya..." Kaden sat up to go join her on the bed. "I have to ask but, I take it you was expecting things to go smoother than this?" He asked.

Freya nodded. “When I first told you, you were so excited. We sat here, we cuddled and we talked and it was as magical as I wanted it to be. Now...” She shook her head. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about being a mother anymore.”

"It's because I am scared he or she will wind up like me isn't it?" Kaden flopped back on the bed looking at the ceiling. "I try to overcome my fears I really do I go see Ariana but I can't seem to overcome them."

“Kaden I...can’t keep going through this! I’m starting to feel so stressed that I cant think straight!” She lay back and stared at the ceiling. “I’m starting to wonder if it’s best for us to have kids or not, and that’s not how I want to feel.”

"I don't mean to stress you out." Kaden rolled onto his side to look at Freya. "Look, you know I am not perfect I do utmost to make you happy. I just...wish there is a way to know right now if our kid won't wind up like me. It would make me feel so relieved you have no idea how it lift this fear off my shoulders."

Freya nodded. “I’ll have to speak with Doctor Hades about it, either that or Carolyn but I can’t make any promises Kaden. Tell me the truth, if our baby has your condition will you still want to be with us?”

Kaden fell silent for a moment trying to process the best way to answer her question but he had to be honest. "I...don't know...I just know I would be miserable and full of regret feeling completely dead inside that I am cursed." He hated saying that to Freya his parents had taught him better than that. Freya even knew Kaden was better than this she just hated his fears always getting the best of him.

Freya nodded. It hurt to hear him say it, it hurt very much, but she tried not to show it. She knew if she showed it that he'd just blame himself and it would give him another reason to hate himself more.

Kaden took Freya's hand into his and gently squeezed it. "But there is a part of me that hopes the baby will be fine that will make me proud I made this choice with you. I am doing the best I can cling on to that hope and never let it go." He confessed.

Freya offered a half hearted smile, all she could think of right now was that if her baby had Kaden's condition she'd be raising him or her alone. "Then I guess we had better hope our baby is okay."

Kaden pulled Freya close to him wrapping his arm around her kissing her on the neck. "Hey...let's not worry about it right now, okay?" He slowly reached his hand up her dressing gown.

Freya couldn't help but smile, Kaden always did know what made her feel better. "Sounds good to me" she pulled him closer and put aside her feelings.

Kaden enjoyed seeing Freya happy even more so excited by the way he touched her. "You are so...so beautiful I am happy you are my wife." He kissed her as he started removing her dressing gown.

Freya returned his kiss, helping him out of what nightclothes he was wearing as well.

Kaden pulled his lips apart from hers and smiled. "It seems we both need to let some frustrations out." He placed his hand on her belly. "Swear to me the little one will be okay."

“He or she will be fine.” Freya smiled warmly, this would relieve some stress but there was a whole lot more buried deep inside that wouldn’t go so easily.

Kaden paused for a moment he could tell Freya was still saddened about him having issues about the baby. He wished he didn't have these feelings but they just wouldn't go away no matter what he would do. Kaden rolled on top of Freya pinning her hands on the bed kissing along her neck.

Freya loved the way Kaden took control when they made love, as a Counsellor she was always in control of things throughout her day, but in bed she preferred to be the one who wasn't in control. She sighed with pleasure as his kisses had the desired effect.

"Seems someone is getting excited." Kaden smiled looking at Freya.

"Uhh huhh" Freya sighed with pleasure. "Just don't stop,"

"Oh I don't intend to!" Kaden replied.

Freya sighed as she pulled him close for a passionate kiss. It was times like this she loved their closeness, it gave her chance to lose herself in their passion.

Although Kaden was enjoying this moment deep down he knew he hurt Freya it wasn't exactly rocket science that she seemed to of lost some respect for him that he may abandon her with their child if it wound up like him. But it wouldn't be just her that he hurt it be her family and his especially his parents who would feel like failures that despite raising Kaden to be a responsible man if he wound up a deadbeat.

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