Just For Fun.....
Posted on Sun Oct 2nd, 2011 @ 6:38pm by Melody Johnson
Your Captain Might Be A Redneck If...
Your shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month
He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
He refers to Klingons as "Critters"
He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum foil
There is a stuffed possum in the Ready Room
He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
He resigned his command because he always wanted to own a fireworks stand
He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen
He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
He replicates items from the Graceland gift shop
The primary colour of the Starship is "bondo"
He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "E"gauge"
He can't wait to go off-duty, so he can wear his favorite baseball cap
He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
He's ever been too drunk to use the Transporter
His Starfleet uniform has a slogan on it
He sets the fore view screen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
He tries to pick up alien women with animal noises and seductive tongue gestures
Visiting dignitaries have heard about his giant beer can collection
He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
He calls his second-in-command "Buddy", instead of "Number One"
He watches professional wrestling on the main view screen
His orders to set coordinates include the phrase "Over yonder"
He paints the starship John Deere green
He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
There is a spit cup attached to his command chair
He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
He grabs an Ensign and says "Lookit this before I flush it!"
His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans & weenies
Category: Out of Character
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